How to handle caregivers eating my mom's food?

What a shame that they ate the special food that you brought for your mom.

Yeah, do as Peggy says, remind them again not to eat her food.

Hey, Peggy

I actually did place laxatives as bait in my lunch. A coworker kept stealing my lunch out of our lounge refrigerator. He took the bait and after that day he never stole my lunch again. LOL 😆 It was chocolate ex lax! Do they still make that? I was in my 20’s when I did that.

I would inventory her house. Toilet tissue, tissues and papertowels. We had one OP that bought these in bulk. Thought it strange that one woman was using tons of toilet tissue. She started locking it up. Make sure all valuables are hidden. Certain rooms off limits.

I would remind the aides that Mom does not provide meals. Even if she says its OK, please do not eat her food. Then explain what you buy her, needs to last till the next time you visit. Don't accuse, Mom may have invited them and does not want to admit it.

Be up front and honest, letting all in home caregivers know exactly what foods they can and cannot eat during their shifts. Place sticky notes on moms foods saying FOR MOM TO EAT ONLY, etc. While I believe in allowing employees to enjoy food with the elders they care for, it shouldnt be expensive specialty items you purchased specifically for her!

Retired RN here! I have worked in many settings over 45 years of my career. For a while, I was a home health RN superviser as well as direct care giver. Never would I have thought my patients were to provide food/meals/snacks for me! I always had a small cooler packed with my own meals, snacks etc.!! Several times I was included by family/patient in a birthday or Christmas celebration, but that was food directly offered to me during a gathering. The thought of a caregiver rummaging around to find food for themselves is abhorrent to me, especially if the patient is unaware.

We took a very different tack on this. My sisters and I brought Mom's favorite foods and stocked the fridge, with notes of instruction on how to warm and serve. We encouraged the caregivers to help themselves to the food. Mom ate so little that it just didn't make sense to warm such a small amount. We also thought that if the caregivers were sharing Mom's food they wouldn't need to be paying attention to making their own food as well. They were working 12 hour shifts and we thought that if Mom's food appealed to them we were happy to share with them. The caregivers didn't really eat very much. The food was also there for whatever family members and friends were there when lunch or dinner happened. Mom was always a generous hostess and would not have been comfortable eating in front of anyone without sharing.

It cost us very little and made everyone feel more friendly to each other. Glad we did it.

I just ordered my mom a home delivery SINGLE SERVING meal plan. This is my passive aggressive way of handling things. 🙂

OP

Maybe portion out food into containers and mark them...say "lunch Tuesday" "dinner Friday" that should make it clear to the aides and easy for them to heat and serve your Mom.

Reinforce to them that moms on a special diet and that food for mom is prepared in a certain way. Were this me, I would hint that moms getting Metamucil or some other laxative.

Do the caregivers do a good job with mom and does she like them?

Good caregiving help is hard to find. What sort of bind would you find yourself in if they leave over $40 worth of food?

Did they have the lunch WITH your Mom? I’d imagine she enjoyed having somebody to eat with.

Remember to install cameras to keep track of what's going on in your mother's home.