Losing compassion and patience. My husband of 43 years has multiple medical issues, and I am the primary supporter. Need suggestions.

My husband and I are in our 60's, so not so old, but I feel much older most of the time. For 43 years, I have taken on the increasingly exhausting role of his caretaker. He had type 1 diabetes, which later caused kidney disease in his 40's. We followed every appropriate diet, did most of the right things, as the kidney disease progressed the nephrologist suggested a kidney transplant for him. I worked tirelessly to make that happen. He ended up with a pancreas and a kidney right before his 50th birthday. I was able to get an out of network hospital approved for this because of their success rate, which meant I then had to drive 2 hours for all his post operative care several days a week and lessening over time. 11 months after the transplant he had symptoms of Lymphoma, and had a perforation in his bowel while hospitalized, and required immediate surgery and another 17-day hospital stay. We then transferred his care to another facility an hour closer to home where he received chemo and ongoing transplant care. We got through it all, and I was still working full-time at a very demanding career. Somehow, we managed. Since then, he has random issues, medication adjustments, diet changes. Two years ago, he had chest pain, was treated for acid reflux for a month or two with no change to the symptoms. He ended up having 2 heart attacks and 2 stents placed. These last two years have been a nightmare. He has almost stopped living, watches tv constantly. Every twinge requires at trip to the ER or a doctor appt. or both. He has been reassured multiple times by multiple doctors his heart is fine, with very little damage, and the stents are doing their job. We eat twigs and berries, we are both underweight, we follow every directive. He always needs me near him and becomes angry and miserable if I dare to leave the house for pleasure. Lunch with a friend, or whatever. I have been retired for about a year and am on the Board of a Comfort Care home and spend time doing board work mostly from home. He gets furious if I have a meeting to attend or receive a phone call related to my volunteer work, and of course his b/p skyrockets turning it into emergency. When I had a paying job, it was okay with him because I was bringing in some money. First let me say, I was the one with a career and a great pension. Most of our monthly income is from my planning for this phase in life. This can't continue. I have no life most of the time, my compassion is gone. When I hear the blood pressure monitor start its humming, I want to go throw it out the window. Our adult children are somewhat helpful, but none of them want any time alone with their father, he gets nasty or ignores them. All very strange. It feels like I jump through every hoop and pursue every medical solution available to him, and he is a miserable and demanding person who has basically given up on life and expects me to do that, too. Suggestions please! He has been through a lot, but I have been right there beside him every single day. It's a lot, and I am tired and becoming angry.