My mom has dementia and believes she has medical issues she doesn't have. How to handle?

Try putting eye drops in her eyes when she complains. You might just say, it's not cancer but dr said if we used these drops it will get better. For real, she might have very dry eyes and her brain is focusing on the irritating feeling. I have it and it can drive you mad some days, usually in the afternoon for some reason.
Systane lubricating drops (as needed) are recommended by eye drs. Recently, my dr told me to try using allergy drops with olopatadine as the ingredient, once a day. Both are over the counter and I buy store brand. That second one really helped a lot - use it every morning.

Late afternoon confusion and agitation with dementia is known as Sundowning. My mother found relief with .5 mg of Ativan which calmed her down when she was insisting her parents and siblings were being hidden away from her in the closets of her memory care AL. Call moms doc and explain her confusion and cancer fears so he can prescribe something. Then distract her off the subject with a snack or some music she enjoys. If nothing else works, try some plain eye drops the "doctor prescribed " to cure the issue. Therapeutic fibs are often required to talk elders off whatever ledge they're teetering on at any given moment. Dementia is very difficult to manage, to say the least.

Google Sundowning to find other tips to cope with late afternoon agitation in elders w dementia.

Best of luck to you

She may need meds for anxiety. Has this been tried? You can tell her the anxiety meds are part of her "cancer" treatment.

I also have very dry eyes.

I’m on an Rx for this.

My doc also put me on OTC Pataday drops. Those help with the inflammation that come from allergies.

Without these meds, I would be driven crazy with the pain and itch.

I wonder if her doc has told her that she has dry or allergic eyes, and that she doesn’t recall or report to you correctly.

LSUPixie: Your mother is experiencing what is commonly known as Sundowning, which is late afternoon confusion in an individual with dementia. Distraction is key, e.g. 'Mom, let's have a snack, your favorite tv show is coming on, etc.'

Afternoonconfusion, anxiousness, restlessness, etc is common with dementia. She truly believes these problems exist. Is mom taking any medication for her anxiety?

One thing that I have noticed is that when older people are news junkies, they tend to believe everything that is reported on the news!

Same thing as far as commercials go. They hear about side effects of meds and all of a sudden they develop the symptoms that are being reported.

I discouraged my mother from watching the news daily. Every time they announced a recall on food items due to salmonella, she would become anxious. She was placed on Ativan to calm her anxiety. It helped tremendously.

Is your mom being influenced by news reports or advertisements on television? Or are these fabricated ideas due to her condition?

Best wishes to you and your mom.

She needs to be heard and acknowledged.
You offer REFLECTIVE LISTENING:

I hear you saying you feel xxx
I understand that you feel xxx
It must be scary to think that you have xxx

You do not say yes or no or agree or disagree - as this way of communicating won't make any difference to her. She needs to get her fears 'out in the open' and she is doing this by talking to you.

Gena / Touch Matters

Gentle reminder, "When you saw the eye doctor on ______ he/she did a thorough eye exam and did not find any evidence of cancer." Follow up with, "How do your eyes feel now?" She may be experiencing dry eyes - especially if she needs medicated eye drops. If so, she can have lubricating eye drops about an hour after any medicated eye drops.

Take her to physician have her medically cleared and screened for depression/anxiety. She may require medication. Offer to assist her to "become more healthy" with meals, exercise etc. Ensure she is taking her medications properly. Validate her fears and concerns and reassure her. Put a large calendar with doctors appt clearly so she can see it. This may be a delusion, and she may require just a small dose of medication for it, it she becomes extremely agitated etc.