Best way to deal with interfering family members?

Personally, I think your dad told you the right way to handle this situation.

These people are not worth fretting over. Accept that you don’t have the power to change their opinions. Chalk it up to ignorance on their part.

Generally, people who think they know everything usually don’t have a clue as to what you are experiencing in your daily life.

Wishing you peace as you continue on in your caregiving journey.

I had two BILs with wives visit a week apart. I did nothing. The one couple was only here two days. We ate out or they atewhat was in the house. They waited on themselves. The second couple here 5 days. We went out to eat, ordered in and ate what was in the frig. They waited on themselves.

Seems your Dad knows what you do and is telling you ignore them. Maybe you can use a little truth said in jest. Yes, lock ur room and you may want to tell them, you don't answer to them.

Yes, I did have an Aunt like that, we ignored her.

Don’t be there when the visitors are there . I used to feel like the servant when my sibs came to see my parents. They would expect me to host a dinner . My husband straightened me out on that and told me to let my sibs bring my parents a meal and for me to take the day off . One time we went away for the weekend. Other times I simply stayed home and let my sibs think I was not home .

It seems that sometimes the exhausting burdens of family care reduce us to feeling and thinking and even behaving like children.

A “concerned” family member debased and insulted me and leveled many accusations against me.

It took me literally YEARS to regulate my own thinking and realize that his comments ( made from a safe and cozy distance after promising to stay by LO’s side, then quickly leaving me to do the full time care) were both baseless AND POINTLESS, since he was in all practical sense “out of the picture”.

I’m a decent honest GROWN UP, and ultimately, I began thinking like one.

You can too. If you need to, write down and make a list of what the bullies have done.

Then make a list of what YOU DO EVERY DAY.

Then pour yourself a cool drink, and do EXACTLY what your father has said to do.

NOTHING THAT THEY SAY can do you any real harm and both you and your father know that.

Be grateful that they are VISITING, and will be LEAVING.

For some caregivers, the day the “helpers” depart is better than the best holiday of the year.

It ALWAYS WAS FOR ME. Enjoy it!!!!!

Honestly I've started avoiding some of my family members, who seem to have opinions about things I should or shouldn't be doing vis a vis my mother but never volunteer to visit her or finance the costly things she needs (another housing situation, soon hands on nursing care, etc.) I just don't need their negativity on top of everything else.

Go out of town for those days.

Let them take care of your dad while they are in town; take some time off.

Do you have an ally who can be with you for support if you have to face these people? Can you be unavailable to see them, especially in your home where they have access to your belongings? You don't have to let them in or even see them.

Put away all of your things into a room and lock the door. Ignore the comments or leave the room when they start their criticism. Wear earbuds and listen to music.