Safety using the stairs with late stage Alzheimer's. When is it enough?

Thank you all so much for your much appreciated answers to my gut instinct concern. I asked your advice in case i was being dramatic/ over thinking things. I spoke to the son who is his main carer months ago that he needs to be on ground level or kept upstairs where there is access to use the bathroom months ago. He rather have his dad climb the stairs in distress while trying to open his bowels then use the commode downstairs because he doesn't want to be emptying it and it will smell the room. Pretty selfish and yes cruel in my eyes, its all about their needs. Poor man. My heart is in my mouth when guiding up and down the stairs. Cares who cover me while i am off have also said it isn't safe for him to be using them. It has been reported, its the families choice and if anything happens to him it will be on their heads!

It mind boggles me when family members stay in denial about an elders dementia diagnosis and pretend they can and should be functioning perfectly, in spite of all their disabilities! To insist this man climb stairs to use the toilet instead of using an "unsightly" commode is just ludicrous imo. We have to accommodate THEIR needs, not the other way around! If this family wants dad to "age in place", then it's their job to ALLOW it to happen properly w/o standing in his way. I think you should speak to his family about your observations and recommendations for his wellbeing also, in addition to letting the agency know your concerns. Its the right thing to do for his comfort, safety and overall wellbeing.

Best of luck to you

How does the family refuse to let him use it? And why? How does he feel about that? Maybe your agency should discuss these things with his family because it seems cruel to make him climb stairs.

Perhaps he needs to see an eye doctor for an exam. If his vision isn’t corrected properly, that could be a reason for some of his issues.

I’m sorry you’re in the middle of this.

Welcome to the Forum, Maria.

You can only report to the family that you believe that he is no longer safe negotiating the stair. And you can only hope that they will listen to you. If they do not, the inevitable is likely to happen. I would let them know your observations, and as Sendhelp says, do discuss with the person you report to at your agency if you work for one.

Ask your agency.