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Kaybostonwyo Asked May 2023

What is the best way to manage times when wife thinks she is not home and I am not her husband, but a nice man who is her care giver?

What do I do when I am just the caregiver and not the husband? I have tried to change her thinking and it just leads to conflict. So as the caregiver I will suggest she call her husband and then leave the room or go outside some place where she cannot hear me. Then when she calls, I tell her as her husband, I will be home shortly. She thinks I still work. I then go downstairs (where she is not), change clothes and come back, say to front door  and come in.  She accepts me for a while as her husband.

funkygrandma59 May 2023
When our loved ones have dementia it is so important to just meet them where they're at. And it sounds like you're doing a good job with that.
One will never win if they try and argue with a person with dementia, so there's no use even trying. It's always best to just go along with whatever they are saying, as it helps keep the peace in an otherwise very stressful situation.
Keep up the good work.

AnnReid May 2023
My opinion? Whatever works.

When my LO became disoriented and stressed, we who loved her just went with whatever made her comfortable.

You are a kind and concerned spouse. Hoping for the best, for you both.

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Fawnby May 2023
Well, it’s a very creative solution. Congratulations on playing roles so very well.

AlvaDeer May 2023
Wow. This must be terribly difficult to negotiate. I am so sorry.

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