My sister lives in North Carolina. I am in NYS. She has asked me to be her power of attorney. What all does that involve?

whymepoa21: Perhaps you need to retain an elder law attorney. Becoming one's agent (POA) does not mean that you would also become her caregiver, if you do in fact become her Power of Attorney.

Please meet with an Elder Law Attorney with your sister (maybe on Zoom) and ask about Public Guardian or about her moving closer to you in a facility, not your home. Call VA and ask if they offer Elder Law Attorneys, I've heard that you'll get available..........maybe a group meeting?

I and my niece (23) were joint POAs for my brother when he had brain cancer. I live 1600 miles away while she lived near him. I was the primary decision maker but she could be on his bank account. We couldn’t find the title to my brother’s car but she needed to have a POA to get a new title in her name. I needed the POA to close out his utilities. Of course health care providers got a copy of the POA for health care decisions. It made life a whole lot easier than having nothing. Also get a advanced health directive. Better to do this now than later when she might not be of sound mind.

You may be best advised conferring with an Elder Law Attorney. There are many nuances navigating this and, in fact may vary between geographic areas. Do yourself and your sister both a favor by getting sound directions from professionals such as an Elder Law Attorney.

Be aware that government entities do not recognize POA. Judy had no problem becoming payee for SS because her mother was present.

Like the other responses, I can't advise you if you should or should not take on the added responsibility.

But I can speak to being a long-distance POA.

I'm POA for my mother who lives 1,600 miles away and honestly, I haven't found the distance burdensome in performing my duties. Yes, I did have to be physically present when the time came to get me named as POA at her bank. We also personally visited the Social Security office and had me named Personal Representative (same as POA but since you're dealing with the government, they have their own terminology for everything).

But now I can do her banking online & pay her bills online. I have her POA scanned as a pdf file already so that it's easy to email any time I'm dealing with a new service provider (caregiving agency) who needs to see it. So it's all relatively painless.

Lastly, if you do recommend to her that she find someone else to be POA, be aware that POA means that person has complete and total access to ALL of her assets. A general durable POA (which is what my mother gave me, I'm aware that some POAs are limited) means that they are acting as if they were her and can do anything with her assets. Hopefully all their actions will be in her best interest but there are bad actors out there. Therefore, whoever she selects will hopefully be 110% trustworthy.

Can’t help you decide to be POA but your sister should consider adding instructions to her will about a military burial because the military does a great service and burial at no cost.

Distance POA is not easy. For myself, my only natural family is three members listed for my Health Directive whom all live out of state. Two siblings in their 70s and a niece in her 40s. If I run out of help in 10 or more years, there is step- family from my brother's wife who will help since no other natural relatives exist for me.

I wouldn't want to do it from such a long distance - but I also wouldn't want to do it with so many other conflicting responsibilities on my plate either. I think you already have enough to worry about.

As a veteran - she is entitled to any number of potential benefits - from medical assistance, to in home assistance, all the way to the possibility of assistance with long term skilled nursing in the form of nursing homes and even veteran's homes. But they aren't going to knock on HER door. She is going to have to advocate for herself.

As POA, you are not required to provide her with hands on care yourself. But you are required to ensure that she HAS proper care provided to her once the POA is actually invoked. There is a big difference in being listed as someone's POA and the POA actually being invoked, but of course the invocation odds increase exponentially the older we get.

I would encourage her to look into every possible VA benefit that she qualifies for - and like yesterday - since the VA can move slowly. And possibly find someone more local to name as her POA.

Me, I would not do it from so far away and you have health problems.

I had my Moms. All she had was her house but that in itself was a headache. All her financial institutions will be there. My brother lives in the Raleigh area and from S Jersey it takes me 7/8 hrs to get there. At 73, I would not take on POA for him and I am in good health.

Catherine, yes, anyone can be her POA. Could be a friend, niece, minister, attorney. If you are her POA, it would be your responsibility to handle her daily life (finances, bills, appointments) and find her care if she couldn't do that for herself. Once she passes away, the POA doesn't have any responsibilities outside of the funeral arrangements. If you're also the executor, though the work continues.

She should definitely contact the VA and see what support they might have, but from the sound of it, your plate is already full.

I was POA for my brother, and his Trustee as well. He was a well organized man, very cooperative. It was still a big job. I would never want to take it on again and would at this point suggest a fiduciary instead to anyone asking me to act in this capacity for them.
It's a big job if you're going to be paying bills and etc. You will have to make arrangements with each company and every entity involved in your sister's life, from phone company to insurance supplements, to medicare and medicaid, to accounts. And each will want proof of your papers.

You will be very busy for at least a year arranging proof of your POA and getting paperwork to these entities. It was very anxiety-provoking and time consuming for me for at least a year, and complicated by the fact he lived at one end of our state and I at the other. I spent hours of frustrating time on the phone.

I suggest that you be clear about what serving as POA entails and be certain you are capable of and wish to do all the onerous record keeping and financial management involved, as well as the traveling back and forth. I advise against this. Sister can speak with a Licensed Certified Fiduciary in her area or an elder law attorney about how to proceed for herself without involving you.

No, being assigned power-of-attorney does NOT require you to be her caregiver. POA means that you handle your sister’s business and financial affairs when she can no longer do so, unless it is worded to take effect immediately upon your signing. Living in another state might make it more difficult since you’re not present to handle things, but with internet, email and overnight mail service, it doesn’t matter so much.

Her being a veteran is an entirely separate issue. But you might, as POA, need to communicate with military and veterans’ affairs agencies at some time or another if you’re POA.

POA expires upon her death. Also, you don’t have to agree to be POA. It’s her problem to choose someone appropriate, and you don’t have to participate in the selection.