I'm sick of taking care of my mother.

Then stop doing it. No, I mean REALLY...stop being her caregiver.
You obviously are burnt out beyond human limits, so now it's time for you to start caring for yourself and place your mother in the appropriate facility, or you will be one of the 40% who dies before the one they're caring for.
There are social workers at the facilities that can help you get her placed, and if money is an issue they can help you apply for Medicaid for her.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP DOING THIS!!!
You matter too in this equation in case you've forgotten, so call your local area agency on aging and get the ball rolling TODAY to get her placed.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Well, you are not alone. You came to the right place to not just vent & rant. Most of us have aging relatives--for the most part and we son't sit in judgment on you!

Having said that--can you come back and give us more details. Like what it is you have to do for her? Do you live with her? Do you have sibs who may/or may not be supportive? How is your health being affected by your level of care.

Don't be ashamed for saying what you think. I'm sure that 'hate' is a strong word, and no doubt you hate the SITUATION you are in, and you are projecting that on your mom.

Likely that your mom DOESN'T care what she's doing to you! We're in the same boat--my DH is thoroughly enmeshed in a CG situation with his mother that is not going to end for the forseeable future. I'm not involved AT ALL with this care, and he reminds me all the time that IF only I would 'make nice' with his mother, then I, too, could be one of her CG's.

Uh, no thanks.

PLease do come back and elaborate about the situation. Then you will get some great advice.

{{Hugs}}

I can relate to this feeling. My mother doesn't care either, I have been caring for her for a year and a half now alone, with no break. She is disabled from the waist down so she can't wipe herself, shower, stand, walk, etc. It is to much for one person and it truly wears you down to a point you didn't think possible. Their lack of care makes it worse because it hurts deeply. You are not alone even though it probably feels like it. I know I felt completely alone for this entire time until I found this platform and started reading and trying to connect with others. It helps to talk to people who understand what you might be going through.

Did you put a question mark after your statement because you're not sure if you're ashamed or Not? Why are you continuing to care for a mother you hate and wish dead when you yourself are ill? There are alternatives for mom, like Skilled Nursing care with Medicaid footing the bill. There is no shame in holding up the white flag of surrender now and getting out of this situation before it kills you prematurely.

Speak to an elder care attorney if you need guidance in placing mom, from a financial standpoint.

Best of luck to you.

There's no law that says you have to be her caregiver. Get out and stay out. That would be best for both of you.

The elderly often don't plan, and they expect their children to take care of them. The children are too intimidated or overwhelmed to know what to do. The first step is making phone calls as others have suggested. Do it!

It is past time to say goodbye to caregiving. You hate your mother so much that you wish she was dead.

You must have your reasons for these intense emotions. Nevertheless, she deserves to have a caregiver who doesn’t hate her.

You deserve to be free from caring for a woman that you hate. So, please stop this insanity and allow you and your mother to live in peace.

Seek therapy if you need help with achieving this goal. Hopefully you will figure out how to hit the reset button and start over.

It sounds like you have been through the wringer and will need time to heal from your wounds. Wishing you all the best.

It is choice to be a caregiver.

No one is obligated to be a caregiver.

If you are being made ill from caregiving it is time not to continue doing it.

If you are having some of the thought that you are having I can imagine they are very disturbing for you. I would suggest a bit of counseling with a good psychologist or a LSW in private counseling practice to comb out a way forward in your life.

I am so very sorry you are currently so distressed.

I get it! My Mother is narcissistic and is very abusive to me. I am not saying your mother is narcissistic too. I am stating the fact that abuse comes in different forms and mine is a narc mother. I do understand your pain. Do what's best for you. There's only so much a person can withstand. She doesn't deserve your kindness.

Do as the others already said. You can give up being a caregiver . You are not obligated . You don’t have to be a servant .

Are you able to handle getting at home caregivers? Apply for Medicaid home care with help from attorney or place her in nursing home? Then that’s a Medicaid nursing home application. You have to take care of yourself too. Caregiver burnout is lethal, Hugs 🤗