Is there a way to get a copy of a POA?

Your are all correct and it is what we have been doing. She coerced my mil into signing. She was not competent. It is not a money issue. My mother in law does not have money. It is my husbands sister and she just is not doing anything for her mother. She barely goes to see her. Won't let her have a phone in her room and controls my mother in laws stipends so she can't even get her hair done. I will continue to do what I can. I just feel bad when she asks me to help and my hands are tied. She is much closer to me than her daughter.

If there's nothing to hide, he should have no problem giving you a copy. My moms POA and trust documents are in a safe place at home. Older sister is executor of the estate & POA.

Time to see an attorney and see about getting guardianship of MIL. That would trump a POA when you present evidence as to when she was declared incompetent and Sis has to show the POA to the judge.

Consult an attorney anyway to see if there's any was to write a strongly-worded letter about sharing the legal paperwork. They aren't necessarily obligated to do that, but she may not know that.

I have been thru what you are going thru with my BIL. I was taking care of him for 15yrs before his niece and sister decided to get a POA of medical and that POA of medical wasn't legal because we didn't see him sign the paperwork when we were witnesses(lawyer told us this not worth the paperwork its printed on) and he couldn't sign it legally because he had dementia since 2015 this was in 2021. A friend of theirs notarized the paperwork without her seeing him sign it. When family gets involved it can lead to nasty problems because I was turned into Dept of Human Services stating I was yelling at him or I let him eloped from his apartment and I was taking meds out of his boxes yep I was turned in twice there both were unfounded. Then when they wanted POA over his finances they tried to get him incompetent but the doctor would not sign it. When he started to show signs of severe dementia his neurologist signed paperwork for me to be his rep payee for social security which I was since 2018. Then when they couldn't get his money they turned me into Social Security for misuse of funds stating I went on a lavish vacation with his social sec and yes I was unfounded there too because I am one that keeps all paperwork. They didn't care that I could have lost everything that my husband their brother could have lost his wife. Now the nursing home where he is in memory care is the rep payee, I don't have anything to do with his money or that side of the family. My husband hasn't seen his sister or niece since Oct 2022.

I would say go see an attorney maybe he or she can get a copy of the POA paperwork. Guardianship might be the way to go but its expensive. You can also do what my family did to me turn them into Dept of human services or social security to make them prove what they have in paperwork if they are spending the funds right.

Prayers

Ask the sibling. He's under no obligation to share with you, but it would be nice to know that she has a POA, certainly for health care.
As MIL is in care you can rest assured that someone is taking care of the financials. Ask her facility to reassure you that her financials are being taken care of by a POA and that they have papers for her POA medical and financial.

I would ask BIL to simple assure you that he currently has medical and financial POA over your MIL. You can also try a lawyer letter requesting reassurance that MIL has adequate support so that you do not have to apply for guardianship (it is too late for any POA changes by her).

If you suspect any FRAUDULENT activity, or have reason to believe it is happening with finances or sales of assets and etc. it is time to see an attorney.

But, again, a POA need not disclose nor discuss documents to do their duties by their appointing principal with anyone whatsoever. And I doubt you will get more than a letter of assurance, or some comfort in the facility MIL is in reassuring you that there is a financial and medical POA. You certainly won't get a copy of the documents if you are estranged from the brother.

The sibling is refusing to share. She is a control freak and we think the POA was signed after my MIL was declared incompetent. We were planning on her and my husband(her brother) sharing POA just so we know what is going on with her. We still see my MIL in the nursing home and I try to give her what she needs but this sibling will not tell us anything. My MIL is used to us helping her and handling her concerns and we can't do that.

I would check with a lawyer what rights you have. If banks and facilities need proof, I don't know why siblings can't be shown that another holds POA. If Mom has had Dementia for some time, POA cannot be gotten because she needs to be competent to sign it and she is not. I would not trust one done from the internet. No one to verify that the person is incompetent. Lawyers talk to the principle and make sure there is no sign of Dementia or the person is being coerced.

Once u know for sure the person holds POA then they are in charge and do not have to make you aware of financials or Medical. They become Moms rep and carries out her wishes. Should not be using her money for personal reasons unless specified in the POA.

A copy can be obtained from the attorney who drew it up but it doesn’t sound like that’s going to be doable in this case so since the sibling is being so secretive about it maybe you can get a copy from the care facility. If your SIL used her POA to place her and take control of her stipend (which seems far reaching to me) the facility should have her POA on file. I would think that if you were to question her authority to the facility and they said she is your moms/MIL POA you could say are you sure do you have a copy of that and they would produce it. POA is a legal document not a secret one so I don’t believe they would be under any obligation not to share it, especially since you have asked and she won’t.

Confer with Elder Law Attorney to get best info on your rights etc and, how to obtain POA document

Pataepa: Retain an elder law attorney. Also, typically the patient's physician is supposed to have on file a copy of the POA document.