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BadCo65 Asked June 2023

Where to go for information and answers?

I am at a loss of where to turn for help and answers. Two weeks ago my mother has dementia but was living at home by herself for most of the day from bed time until morning when I came over. She was in hospice care also but I not sure why because no doctor ever told her she was dying and had so long to live. I didn't really question it because it did help me with taking care of mom. She is in her late 70's and I am in my late 50's I had two brothers but they passed away a few years after my dad. Her downturn started when she got a small cut on her hand. The nurse said it looked okay when I thought it was getting ugly. It turned real bad real fast. Her hand turned black overnight and she was in delirium. I took her to the the emergency room and they said she had a UTI now also. her mind went so fast she in now in the Geriatric Psych care facility and has to go to a nursing home with a memory unit. She does not have much money and first meeting I had with nursing home what assets does she have that she can sell and want copies of any bank records. Who or where would I call to help me find answers.I hope all this made sense because I am a little brain dead right now from lack of sleep. I am in Alabama if that makes a difference. I am not sure if I posted this in the right forum.

MAYDAY Jun 2023
BADCO... UTI's are MESSED UP. They can change the BRAIN FUNCTION WITHIN MINUTES...it seems like minutes.. maybe it's a buildup AND WHAM... What is wrong with her?

They can become disoriented, comatose, combative, oblivious, YOU NAME IT, UTI's can just make a happy go lucky person, turn into a monster, or a zombie, etc....

I AM NOT KIDDING.. THIS CAN CHANGE IN A MINUTE. GET THE ANTIBIOTICS IN HER. Make sure her diaper is changed if she wears them..

cranberry juice water, water, and more water...

my friend's mom looked like a comatose zombie.. seriously. I almost called 911. She finally called me back and said NOOOO!! Most likely it's UTI. I calling for her prescription now.... with a day or two on antibiotics, she was back to normal...

ravensdottir Jun 2023
Have you tried your local Area on Aging hotline at
1-800-AGE-LINE (1-800-243-5463)? They should be able to help with resources.

Patients discharged from hospital to nursing home are covered by Medicare the first 100 days and can be enrolled in Medicaid after that. As a few people have stated, the delirium could be temporary; so, is admitting her for a short-term stay completely out of the question?

If she has to go the Medicaid route, DO NOT let the nursing home apply for her, especially if you're not POA or have any involvement in Mom's finances. You'll be left in the dark permamently as to what's going on.

Best wishes to you and Mom.

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JoAnn29 Jun 2023
I am concerned about that cut. Were labs done to rule out sepsis?

What you need to do is get access to Moms accounts. My Moms bank printed me out all accounts she had with them. Checking and her CDs. You need to see an Elder Lawyer who is well versed in Medicaid. With Long-term care and using Medicaid, her SS and any pension will be used to offset the cost of that care. My Mom had 20k when I placed her in LTC. It paid for May and June and gave me time to apply for Medicaid. In June I confirmed that the Medicaid caseworker had everything needed and Moms Medicaid started in July. Please, do not rely on the home to apply for Medicaid. Keep on top of everything. Me, I went to Medicaid and the caseworker put the info right into the computer, no middleman. If there is a home involved, I definitely would see an elder lawyer. NHs have been known to give wrong info when doing a Medicaid application. A home and a car are exempt assets until death. You can pay for the Elder Lawyer out of Moms money.

Cdriver Jun 2023
Hire an elder care attorney ASAP. It's a lot to navigate. Don't sign anything at the nursing home until you meet with an attorney to help you.

MACinCT Jun 2023
If you are not her POA or guardian then tell them so. The social worker will petition the probate court to get things moving for Medicaid. You probably have no access to her accounts and a probate judge will appoint someone to have access and get the job done. If you are a wreck and she has few funds, then let the court process go through without your help. It should all work out in the end. The only thing you can do is to just visit her.
BadCo65 Jun 2023
I do have POA on her financials but not on medical because I didn't read all the fine print in the POA forms a few years ago. I think they are moving like a factory assembly line saying so many days here and so many days there.

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