My mother keeps wearing the same clothes in between my visits. How do others deal with this?

If mom lives in Memory Care Assisted Living, as you say, the staff should be on top of this situation for her since she's suffering from AD/dementia. The staff should be trained to put her soiled clothing into the hamper daily, and to select clean clothing for her, to shower her and to figure out her fears or hesitancy TO shower. That's the purpose of Memory Care AL and the associated costs. A care meeting is in order between you and the staff about your expectations moving forward. If they are unable to meet moms basic needs, think about moving her to a different facility bc her needs will only increase from here. Best of luck to you.

Ask the ALF to put on her careplan to assist your Mom with choosing an outfit, and with putting last worn in the hamper. They will be glad to assist in this simple task.

The care plan from the facilities are subject to your mom’s response. If she refuses, you will still pay and they will not call you to let you know she is refusing! I paid a lot of money for a care plan that was not working for my mom. They told me they can not force her. I had cameras in the rooms (they knew about them) and I saw them ask her, her refuse and then they left. When I requested they spend more time with her to help her get warmed up to the idea, they told me they were busy with others! So, I could not even get them to spend the amount of time with her that they would spend if she was showering. I canceled the care plan (except for medication management) and got mom a private caregiver 3 afternoons a week. I asked if there were private carers in the building and was able to get a lady who was delighted with the hours. 1-5 p.m. worked the best. It covered 2 meals and the woman was delightful. I introduced her as a friend of mine and gave her background on mom. My mom and I chatted with her together as friends and then I asked mom to please let Mona help her. I got a small heater that I keep locked up in a box to get the bathroom warm. Mona pulls 2 sets of clothes and mom picks an outfit. It has worked out with some resistance. Mom used to be a nurse but her aversion to getting cold even led her a painful rash under her breasts. That has helped her to say yes. As mom got worse, I have 7 day a week care. It has been worth it. They report to me! I get a text report end of shift and when mom had a UTI and was bedbound, my staff jumped in to help mom and even got me additional staff. Bottom line: I do not recommend the care plan. I figured it was about 35.00 an hour if they did the max of the hours. My staff are 20.00/hr for the weekend (she doesn’t shower mom but she is her companion and helps her) and 25.00/hr for the regular woman. She showers, does the laundry, puts on lotions, fixes mom’s hair, reads to her, talks with her walks her and loves on her. Mom trusts her.

Buy 3 or 4 versions of the same outfit and have the staff replace the clothes on the chair every other day. More frequently if she stains them.

She is living in Memory Care. The staff should take her clothes that she puts on the chair and place them in the hamper and replace the soiled clothes with clean clothes. I did this for my Husband for quite a while and he never said anything about the clothes being replaced with clean ones.

When mom gets to the point where she can no longer dress herself they can just get her dressed in clean clothes but as long as she is dressing herself they should just replace the soiled with clean. Let her have the "independence" that she has for as long as she can

I ended up buying multiples of the same outfit. I altered the sleeves since she did not like full length sleeves. She looked the same every day but the clothes were clean. The pajamas were a different story. She refused to wear anything else to sleep in. I washed and returned quickly to keep her calm. Same thing with shoes.

I do think it was comfort and sensitive skin. Any new outfit was quickly discarded. She was perhaps grasping for the familiar.

Buying multiples helped tremendously.

Unfortunately, this isn’t an uncommon occurrence for many elderly people.

There are various reasons why older people dislike showering on a regular basis.

There wasn’t a hygiene issue with my mom. She loved feeling fresh and she loved her stylish wardrobe. She was part of the Hollywood glamour era and was a bit vain!

My mom was hesitant or uncomfortable about getting into the shower because she was afraid of falling. She had balance issues due to her Parkinson’s disease. I placed a shower chair in her bathroom for her. Even with the chair, safety bars and non slip mat, she was never truly comfortable.

My mom didn’t fight being showered but many people have these issues.

Stick around for answers. Others who have had your experience will offer suggestions.

Best wishes to you and your mom.

Maybe buy her 3 of the same clothes next time? Idk if that would work, but just a thought

If helping Mom dress is not on her care needs, it needs to be. My Mom was changed everyday. And I asked between showers they wash under her arms and use deoderant.

My mom the same thing. Old habit. Wear your 'house clothes' all week and at the end of the week, put them in the wash. Socks in the sneakers. Lays the clothes neatly over her chair. Sometimes I just take them and throw them in the wash (when she's not looking) and will lay out something else for her to wear.

It's gotten tough getting her into the shower. I've taken to a "practice run" with clothes on the day before her shower. Other times she gives herself "a whore's bath" everyday in the sink. That's fine with me. She never smells.