My husband is a fall risk and has moderate dementia. How do I convince him to wear his medical device?

The only thing is that the devices need to be removed in the bathroom for showering or for bed. The highest incidents occur in bathrooms and bedrooms

Tell him people who fall without anyone knowing, or nearby to help, can die of hypothermia. If the type of fall monitor he has offends him somehow, try to find one less obtrusive or 'leash'-like. I'm imagining a watch/wristband type, or something that can be attached to his clothing; tell him it's like a 'walkie-talkie' if he likes electronic gadgets ;-}

Get him a Apple Watch he can hit 911 and you can GPS track him with Apples 🍎 Find my Watch .

I would see if he would wear a monitor that looks like a watch or if he would keep it in his pants pockets - and if his pants don't have pockets, get him ones that do. I hate to wear anything around me neck - even small necklaces annoy me. If my 2 suggestions don't work then one reply on here was making a small pocket on the back of his shirt and place it in there without him knowing it. Good Luck!

A fall device is most useful if the wearer lives alone or is difficult to hear for other people in the house. It won’t stop the fall, but it will stop hours on the floor in pain before the person is found.

If faced with this problem, I’d check what clothing is worn everyday. If a pyjama top or a shirt is worn for a couple of days, I’d consider stitching a little pocket at the pack of the neck of each of them, and then stitching (roughly) the device into the pocket when the clothes are changed. It needn’t be at all obvious.

It's not clear from the original posting the exact reason why the OP wants her husband to wear a fall detector, but it could be she wants to know when he falls and understands that the device will do only that. If she got a wrist-worn fall detector and put it on his dominant wrist, then it might be difficult for him to take off. I think she might also figure out some ways to keep it secured to his wrist; e.g., wrapping it with Velcro. He also might be less resistant to a wrist fall detector because it looks like a watch. Some of these devices are water resistant and can be worn in the shower (probably not in the bath if he takes baths), so he could basically wear it all of the time. And once he had it on all of the time, he might stop trying to take it off.

Others here have suggested looking into a facility for your husband, which is a good idea. However, even at a facility a resident can fall. My mother just did so and cracked her pelvis. At a certain point trying to keep your loved one safe is like trying to control water. They will slip (no pun intended) through your fingers anyway. I believe it is the "reptile mind" wanting to be finished with this life.

Peggy321: Per your profile, your DH (Dear Husband), Larry unfortunately suffers from Alzheimer's/dementia so his brain lacks the capacity for logical thought processes. Ergo, he cannot understand why it's important to wear the medical device. He may require managed care facility living as you've already stated that you're quietly going nuts.

No "device" will prevent a fall.
The only thing a device will do is notify you when there is a fall. (notice I did not say "IF" he falls)
I can not imagine what freedom you get from a device that will notify you if he falls. If you mean that you run to the store and leave him home while you are gone...it sounds like he needs a caregiver with him and he should not be left alone.
If you want to know when he falls maybe cameras are a better option. You can view the camera feed on your phone so it you are out you can monitor what he is doing.
He will forget about the cameras so he will not feel that he is being "watched" all the time. When he falls you can make the 911 call for a Lift Assist.

I have the same issue with my mom. And as others have said, it is not just for them, but for our peace of mind. I call and call and since her hearing is bad she often does not answer so I wonder if she has fallen on the floor.

She says they do not prevent fall, yes she is right, but can get help.

I cajoled, bargained, tried to put a carrot on a stick and nothing works. My brother said just admit she is not going to do it. She is selfish in many areas of her life and she is who she is so I have done that

It still doesnt help the main issue, but removes the frustration of why she wont wear it and trying to get her to wear it.

The fact that he has " moderate dementia" will limit his cognitive ability to understand, remember and willingly comply with directions; repeated explanations only create more anxiety for you and him.
Consult with whoever you get the monitor services from and see if there is something available that he cannot remove.

Also confer with his PCP about this observed behavior ; he may be declining more and the PCP may be able to offer other options
( medication changes for one) .

You may also need to realistically start to look at potential facility placement options either for now or down the road, for both his safety and day to day care and, for your sanity and peace of mind. Confer with PCP and get a social services professional assigned to you to help with this .

You may also want to have him assessed for hospice care admit appropriateness; if hospice assessed him as meeting the hospice criteria, they may be a valuable service for you to have to both help you in the home , look at possible placement options, and can provide you with intermittent periods of " respite" care, 5 days/ nights paid for by hospice to care for him in a facility while you have a BREAK !

His brain may be broken yet some of his ego is intact. Don't you know...men are invincible?

When they start falling like he does, incontinent or aggressive, IMO it is time to be placed in a facility.

The fall monitor will not stop him from falling and hurting himself. A fall monitor is for the caregiver's peace of mind. Perhaps a helmet for people with concussions will protect his brain, if her will wear it. I have recently ended my 4 + year journey with my mom's dementia, my dad bowed out in the early stages with massive heart failure.. They are determined. My mom at 6 and 7 stage would work at the seat belt on the chair hooked in the back til she got it loose. Or slide down and get the belt hooked in her arm pits. Or take her clothes off while still strapped in and scream I was hurting her when I struggled amid her punches and kicks to get her dressed again.. She could reach around and take the brake off. She flipped the chair backwards. I then tied it to the side of the couch or bed. Still when I thought she was bed ridden she fell out of bed and had bruises on her face. She couldn't tell me anything. Her passing a few days later triggered a full autopsy because I could not explain her bruises. Waiting for the findings. Like I said they are determined.

You will not convince him. "Convincing" is not compatible with dementia. A monitor will not prevent a fall' it will only let you know someone has already fallen. If you need some time off from constantly watching him, consider leolonnie's idea of and Adult Day Care program.

My mom was practically deaf. She couldn’t hear the people on the other side that were speaking to her. I ended up talking to them and having mom try to talk over me!

I found it faster and was to just call 911 in emergencies.

I don’t find these call button devices to be all that helpful. Old people are still going to fall.

I know that you would like to be able to manage this situation. These situations are never easily managed in a home setting.

Start looking at facilities. They have a staff who are trained to deal with all of this.

Best wishes to you and your husband.

Peggy, your husband CAN'T understand why it's important for him to wear this device because he has dementia and his brain is broken. And it will only get worse.
And sadly falls are part of this horrible disease.
My late husband developed vascular dementia after having a massive stroke many years earlier and he was falling all the time. Even with me right here in the house with him. They really can't be prevented, until like my husband they become completely bedridden.
If his care is getting to just be too much for you at home, you may have to start looking into placing him in the appropriate facility. Although keep in mind that he will still continue to fall even if placed as many on this forum can attest to.
I hope and pray that you're taking good care of yourself and doing things that bring you joy as you matter in this equation as well.

My husband wears a smartwatch and so do I. They communicate with each other and advise me if he's fallen. The watch also alerts emergency services and reports falls. Emergency services has called me when they thought he fell.

Since it's a snazzy looking watch, your husband might accept it rather than a pendant. We can call each other on the watch and it also functions as a walkie talkie. The Find Me feature allows me to know where he is every minute, but he doesn't necessarily know I keep tabs on him.

My MIL throws away and all 'fall pendant devices'. She believes they MAKE her fall. She recently threw out the 4th or 5th one. The kids are not replacing it and are just letting nature take its course.

She WILL fall, it's inevitable. It just became something they weren't willing to fight her about.

So, sadly, I guess when she does fall, she will lie there until somebody comes by to check on her.

This is not unusual. A lot of elders simply do not want to give in to that last vestige if 'independence'.

In MIL's case, she doesn't like that when she'd fall, the EMT's would show up and she'd get a trip to the ER. She was embarrassed about them coming.

From your profile:

I am caring for my husband Larry, who is 85 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, heart disease, mobility problems, sleep disorder, stroke, and vision problems.

About Me
I am an active recently retired woman who is quietly going nuts!

What sort of monitor prevents falls in an elder with Alz/dementia? Who cannot understand or retain important information in the first place, or have the empathy or insight to realize why your life matters at all? Only his life matters, so a "leash" is how he views whatever this device is, and how he's going to view it. Once they get an idea stuck in their head, you honestly cannot chop it out of there with an AXE, either. They'll just keep going back to that idea, over and over and over again.

The wisest thing to do is get dh into a daycare program so you can enjoy some freedom, or place him in Memory Care Assisted Living if his care gets to be too much for you to manage. In reality, there is no way to prevent elders from falling, no matter what you do. I know.....my mother fell 95x and we tried everything imaginable to keep her safe.

Best of luck to you.

I need a better description about what this item is, thanks.

Can you explain what device you are asking your husband to wear that he is refusing to wear, that may PREVENT his fall? Does he wear a light helmet, and WOULD he wear one, or would that be easily removed as well. I honestly wish I had some ideas for you and hope others do.