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T
tylerspear Asked June 2023

Two questions I guess.

I am retired, no family, and moved to where my Mother lived to help her. This last year she really became ill and I was her total care giver for a year until she died a couple of months ago. Mother was my best friend. Now I feel like a piece of me is missing, and I don't know what to do with myself. I rejoined some activities at my church that I had to let go while she was ill but it feels like I just do them to pass time. Also, while she was ill we had visitors and calls, texts . After she died and the funeral was over everything stopped. Nothing. I don't understand this at all.


 


Just wondering if anyone has experienced this.

JoAnn29 Jun 2023
I think getting involved with ur Church is good. Check to see if they have a "Grief" group or know of a Church that has one. Do they have a Bible Study class. You may want to join it. Really though, Moms death is still recent and grief takes longer for some than others.Libraries sometimes have book clubs and other things. Ours holds bus outings.

Catskie62 Jun 2023
Im sorry for the loss of your mom.

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funkygrandma59 Jun 2023
Please find a Grief Share support group near you to attend to help you work through your feelings of grief.
And then instead of waiting for folks to reach out to you, why don't you reach out to them first?
I know that after my husband died(almost 3 years ago now)I felt lost and seemed to wander around wondering what I was to do next with my life.
But with time I eventually started to figure things out and actually I'm still figuring things out still, so don't expect things to turn around so soon. Instead allow yourself this time to grieve the mom you loved and were blessed to be able to call your "best friend."
Eventually your life will become what you'd like it to be, but you my friend will have to put in the work and put yourself out there.
I pray Gods blessings over your life as you now move forward in discovering what brings you joy.

NeedHelpWithMom Jun 2023
I’m so sorry for your loss.

Grief is made up of many different emotions. There isn’t a right or wrong way because it is so personal to each of us.

Wishing you peace as you mourn the loss of your mother.

MeDolly Jun 2023
That is common, when it's over it's over. When my husband died so did my relationships with most all of our couple friends.

I have heard and read this many times "My mother is/was my best friend"! I have never been able to wrap my head around this due to the age gap plus the need to be free of the umbilical cord and my relationship with my abusive mother.

Now, I know the above is just me and I do understand your sad feelings and your dealing with this great loss. I am sorry about your loss.

Life is about change and acceptance, personally, I would go to therapy and work through your loss and help to figure out how to restructure your life.

I wish you the very best.

Daughterof1930 Jun 2023
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a huge life change to lose your final parent, I know. I’m glad you’ve rejoined activities even if your heart isn’t in it right not. Isolation is your enemy. Please look into attending a Grief Share group, they are often held at churches or other civic meeting places and have been a big support and help to many. Consider if a part time job would help you fill some time. I went back to work in a field totally unrelated to anything I’d done before in a part time status and have found it quite fulfilling, with the bonus of meeting some nice new friends. Forgive those who’ve dropped away, people often just don’t know what to say or how to react

Grandma1954 Jun 2023
Everyone that has been a caregiver experiences what you are feeling in the aftermath.
A few things to do for yourself.
If you have not participated in a Bereavement Support Group please do so. If mom was on Hospice they will have one you can attend.
You can also ask at your Church.
while mom was ill and you had visitors were these YOUR friends or mom's friends? If they were mom's friends maybe they think that you do not want to "hang out" because of the age difference. If you enjoyed their company have you called them and made arrangements to get together?
If they were your friends...have you called them and made arrangements to go out.

And as odd as it sounds the term "fake it until you make it" might have some truth to it. If you make an effort to enjoy yourself even if you do not feel up to it endorphins do kick in and it will help make you feel better.

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