I found your post confusing. Have your resided in the US your whole life? I can't understand if you took your parents in or your siblings have been doing the caring.
I get there is some empathy here for Mom even though she abused you. From your profile Mom is not a well woman, the reason the need for care. At this point, I would not worry about Mom. I would worry about getting that apt and having/getting that job. You need to worry about you.
When it comes to an inheritance, let them have it. If Mom leaves a Will I so hope ur a beneficiary. If not, the State determines who inherits and you being a child will inherit.
I did read your profile. While I can offer you sympathy here I think that you need a good professional counselor. I am one here who refers severe medical issues to the MDs of he world, critical legal and financial advice needs to CPAs, attorneys and financial advisors.
We are just a bunch of caregivers. While we may have some overlap in professional history (I am a retired RN) we do not know you, do not know your family and are not in a position to advise you on family dynamics that are this much in need of professional help.
Please consider seeing a good counselor. By good I always mean a licensed and certified Social Worker in private counseling practice for a psychologist with good credentials. You need someone who won't simply listen to the year by year stories over and over, but one who will help you identify goals for your own life and help you negotiate new paths to reach them. People become stuck in the mud of habitual ways of responding.
Please seek help for yourself. You are desperately in need of it. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best.
I'm sorry that your family is so dysfunctional and that you were the victim of their abuse, including your mother.
My best advice to you is to seek help from a therapist so that you can find and keep healthy boundaries. You are an adult, and any abuse that you feel you are now subject to is because you are allowing it. Read about FOG (fear, obligation and guilt).
In your profile you also mentioned worry over the others getting all her money and assets, etc. This fear is driving poor decisions by you. I sincerely wish you wisdom, clarity and peace in your heart as you come to terms with the fact that you are under no obligation to help your former abuser.
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I get there is some empathy here for Mom even though she abused you. From your profile Mom is not a well woman, the reason the need for care. At this point, I would not worry about Mom. I would worry about getting that apt and having/getting that job. You need to worry about you.
When it comes to an inheritance, let them have it. If Mom leaves a Will I so hope ur a beneficiary. If not, the State determines who inherits and you being a child will inherit.
I did read your profile. While I can offer you sympathy here I think that you need a good professional counselor. I am one here who refers severe medical issues to the MDs of he world, critical legal and financial advice needs to CPAs, attorneys and financial advisors.
We are just a bunch of caregivers. While we may have some overlap in professional history (I am a retired RN) we do not know you, do not know your family and are not in a position to advise you on family dynamics that are this much in need of professional help.
Please consider seeing a good counselor. By good I always mean a licensed and certified Social Worker in private counseling practice for a psychologist with good credentials. You need someone who won't simply listen to the year by year stories over and over, but one who will help you identify goals for your own life and help you negotiate new paths to reach them. People become stuck in the mud of habitual ways of responding.
Please seek help for yourself. You are desperately in need of it. My heart goes out to you and I wish you the best.
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Do you have NAMI in your area? Please seek out a therapist to help you to heal. You deserve to live in peace.
Not only that, you are in recovery. Please don’t place unnecessary pressure on yourself by caregiving and place your sobriety in jeopardy.
My best advice to you is to seek help from a therapist so that you can find and keep healthy boundaries. You are an adult, and any abuse that you feel you are now subject to is because you are allowing it. Read about FOG (fear, obligation and guilt).
In your profile you also mentioned worry over the others getting all her money and assets, etc. This fear is driving poor decisions by you. I sincerely wish you wisdom, clarity and peace in your heart as you come to terms with the fact that you are under no obligation to help your former abuser.