Cat bites: Would love some feedback on this issue.

If it were me at 93, that would be my wish to my concerned adult daughter:

Don’t take away my cat. Don’t take away my friend. I’ve had a long life. I’ll die eventually of something anyway. Let me have my friend.

OP, I hope your mom’s happily continuing to enjoy her cat’s company. Remember, at 93 she’ll eventually die of something. But let her keep her friend till the end.

That cat probably saved your mom’s life many times. Times your mom was sad, depressed…but that cat was always by her side.

We had a similar issue: my then 103-yr old Aunt had to be taken to the ER by ambulance because she developed sepsis from her cat's bite on her leg in a spot we didn't see and she never told us about. She had to be hospitalized and she developed neurological symptoms. It took over a month for her to return to "normal". But she will not give up the cat and we're not going to make her because at her age she has few things that give her happiness. We are just resigned to watching out for symptoms. We do make her wear zip-up compression socks as a precaution.

How old is the cat? Animals can get dementia. My 16-yr old dog had it. Their behaviors change, too.

I have to say it again, like others:
don’t take away the cat!

Your mom is 93. The goal isn’t to live as long as possible. Your mom loves her cat. The cat loves her. How many people have that in their lives? Very, very few.

Her cat has been loyal to her for years.

Good suggestions here. I've had cats almost all of my 86 years, and I would be a CaTvocate for that reason. (We're down to one shy senior girl now but have usually had at least 2, if not 3, cats in the past.) Your mom's cat is probably a senior, too, and it's not always easy for senior kitties to find new homes, although it is possible. We have adopted several over the years.

I'd recommend a vet visit for kitty if there hasn't been one. There may be medical or dental health problems that need treatment. I would describe your mom's home situation to the vet and ask for advice. Low dose Prozac could be helpful, as could gabapentin if kitty tolerates it (it can cause diarrhea in some cats). I've never tried CBD oil for cats. As others have mentioned, Feliway may help. Biting behavior also can be addressed by training. It seems unlikely that your mom will remember to wear gloves, but it may be worth a try.

I would explore ALL possibilities before you consider rehoming your mom's cat. They are truly attached, and separation would be SO difficult for your mom and for her cat. If your mom remains in actual danger from bites/infections despite remediation efforts, there might be a compromise situation if it can be done and is absolutely necessary. Could a relative or neighbor who lives reasonably close possibly take the cat in and bring kitty to see your mom regularly?

Mom is 93. Something will go amiss probably in the not-too-distant future. I vote to allow her to keep her companion kitty if there is any way at all to do so.

Don’t take her cat. That will break her heart.

How about gloves on your mom, to protect her hands.

Don’t take away her life-long friend. They’ve been friends for a long time.

If you haven’t already, please take the cat for a vet checkup. Cats, like people, can get grouchy when they are in pain. Also Kitty Cupcake needs to be current on shots, esp rabies. The vet might also have suggestions.

My mom’s cat is skin sensitive, plus has old man pain in his hips and back feet. I worked on it daily with him. He is still a bit twitchy, but no longer so reactive. He tolerates petting, and when it’s too much, stops himself from chomping down.

Cats are prey-driven animals, so perhaps her cat needs more daily interactive play away from hands (for example, I avoid nose boops or finger chase, which associates fingers with biting.) I throw one or two of his toys he likes to kick and bite and make a big deal out of what a gooooood boy he is. If he gets excited and goes for my hand when I pick up a toy, I calmly say “no hand,” distract him in another direction, then toss a toy. In the beginning, he got a small treat, but now 5 min a day and no treat other my admiration of his awesomeness does it. I don’t punish, always praise when he’s done it correctly. I’ve found saying “no” 100% fails, but saying “no” and immediately redirecting to something acceptable to me that he likes works. No hands, here’s your toy, what a good boy.

I did play time only for awhile, before I touched him anywhere other than his head. I wanted him to associate me with nice things before working on the stuff potentially painful to either of us.

If you don’t have the time, patience or consistency (no judgement from me because not everyone does), you might see if there’s a trainer, nearby vet tech on the side, or pet sitter who can come out for awhile. Our cat was senior when I started working with him. Right now, he’s stretched out against me, enjoying pets on his floofy tummy, whereas before I would have been bloody.

I took my mom’s cat and dog for care reasons, but I was wrong. The animals were the only things left that Mom truly cared about and for and the only ones who loved her just for her. All the people around her were paid to be, and she was alone.

Also someone mentioned trusting her to care for the cat, you might need to watch over the care or get an automatic feeder, auto water-er and maybe auto-litter box that you (or someone) can monitor.

Finally I don’t have have this, but some in-home security cameras have pet detection and there are pet cameras. Maybe you could be high tech and monitor for kitty and see what your mom is doing when he bites her, then you’d know more what prompted the bite if otherwise the cat is good.

Just like when a human acts up and can’t tell why, I start with the basics first: physical and mental health, stimulation levels (too high or low), appropriate socialization, &c.

Hope any of this is helpful. Thank you for caring about the situation and trying to see if there are any good solutions for both human and cat.

“That will break her heart.”

Both cat’s heart and mom’s heart. OP, do you really want to break TWO hearts?

And by the way OP, your heart will be broken by breaking their hearts. So that’s THREE broken hearts.

And then all of us on the forum will also have broken hearts. That’s like 1,500 broken hearts.

Do you really want that?
:)

I am a real animal lover, and I would certainly mourn my cat being taken from me. However, in the case of a cat that is causing actual physical damage and infection, it is no longer safe. Animal (and human) bites can be very dangerous, leading the resistant bacteria, sepsis, and even death.

Not everything can be fixed. Not everything can proceed without mourning.

I would rehome this animal where it can be loved and cared for by someone with capacity. I would get a gentle cat to replace it for my mother.

This is an individual decision you must make, knowing all that is involved. Our elders are fragile and frail and without the ability to heal as once they did.

I am so sorry.