I posted before about leaving my friend in memory care and appreciate the responses, all saying she should stay.

It sounds like this MC may not be the place for her. I moved my mom out of her first MC within 4 months because there were several red flags that I didn’t see until after move in. Biggest being she was becoming paranoid that her food was being poisoned but they waited weeks to tell me and the nurse just rattled off the meds she wanted her on without any discussion. At her new place she saw a neuropsychiatrist right away who has been very conservative with her medication and her paranoia has been kept in check ever since. My mom loves her new place she has been there 4 yrs now. So don’t hesitate to move your friend if your gut tells you she’s better off somewhere else.

My mother's memory care AL had a policy where residents were checked on every 2 hours if they stayed in their rooms. They were not allowed to eat any meals in their rooms, either, which was a great policy to keep them socialized. The 2 hr check in policy is required in case they do fall and cannot reach or remember to pull the cord for help. What sorts of features does your friends MC have intact to address these issues? A care plan is in order for her POA asap along with Barbs ideas to address her paranoia.

Good luck to you.

The facility can't force her to leave her room, force her to take her meds, force her to eat or to socialize. If you are getting all your info from Nancy, you will have to question it and consider the source. Dementia + memory loss = often unreliable information. If she isn't drinking enough she can become dehydrated and more confused and delusional. Paranoia is often part of dementia. But, she could also have a UTI and should probably have this discounted as a health concern, as this would also ramp up confusion and behavioral issues.

If you are her PoA or legal guardian, then you can request a meeting with the admins. A good facility will be happy to meet with you and have solutions. The meeting should include her nurse and maybe her doctor to discuss exploring different meds and involving the staff to try other ways to coax her out of her room.

Right now there is a pretty severe labor shortage. My MIL is in a stellar LTC facility but even she has had longer wait times to be attended to. This is not to say something about the facility isn't a problem. Give them a little benefit of the doubt first.

Cornelia, have you had a care meeting yet?

I think your concerns warrant a formal sit-down with the SW, head nurse and activities director.

Has she been seen by a psychiatrist to evaluate the needs for scheduled meds late in the afternoon? These need to be given BEFORE she starts getting agitated. As explained to me by my mom's geriatric psychiatrist, you need a lower scheduled dose to prevent the anxiety from ramping up; giving meds in response to an episode means a higher dose.

Also, an antipsychotic like Seroquel may be much more effective in addressing the paranoia than an anti-anxiety med like Ativan.