Last week another family member flew my MIL from Las Vegas to Houston and left her with me. Litterally just left when she handed her over. She probably has dementia, stage 2. She wanders, doesn’t sleep, hallucinates, needs help dressing and bathing. Yesterday I found my cat in the oven because she thought it was radioactive . Thank god we had the foresight to remove the knobs. She needs full time professional care. Her Medicare is lapsed, the relative she was living with drained her bank account, and she hasn’t seen a doctor in years. Her retirement funds are @ $2500 mo. With the care she needs, I know we are going to fall way short. My husband has been out of work for 18 months and we are just 2 months away from our savings being drained and unable to make ends meet. My husband obviously can’t work now. I’ve missed 3 days this week because I’ve been up at 3 am dealing with her paranoia. What options to we have to find her the proper care? Do I take legal action against the other relatives? Right now all I can think of is to try to get her admitted to the hospital and refuse to pick her up. I don’t really want to that person, but we are not in a position to provide care and the family has turned their backs and refused to help. The eldest brother suggested we drop her off at the bus station.
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Literally take her in person to the nearest Social Security office.
Change her address (to a new private P.O. box with a street address).
Your husband, her son? should do this with you. Does she have any I.D.?
Even if you cannot get her SS check delivered by Aug. 1st, be sure to cancel the check going to former residence, former bank. The SS. office can see that she will require a representative payee and try to assign your husband. Ask for a public one or accept the rep- payee assignment until you can change it.
If you don't do that, you are throwing away $2,500, and her future income to house herself.
While there, maybe she will act out so badly that they will call 911 and she will be taken on a 5150 hold. A blessing in disguise to allow the system to kick in and take care of her.
As long as you shelter her in your home, you will be responsible for her welfare.
She's family. It is obvious that you cannot provide her the care and housing, safety that she needs. But do not punish her. Get her the help she needs now, and do it the most expedient way possible. You can get her a public guardian next.
At any point in time you feel unsafe, call 911. (Like a week ago?)
Transport to ER is appropriate. And then a firm HE DOUBLE HOCKEYSTICKS NO to discharge.
Straight Medicare does not lapse. The premium is taken out of her SS if she has part B. If she has a Medicare Advantage I have no idea how the premiums work. I would call Medicare and find out how she stands. If an MA, they do not usually go over State lines so you either take her back to straight Medicare with a supplement or get her Medicare Advantage in your State.
Your MIL may have had her Part B dropped for non payment. She may not have a drug plan or a supplement but she still has Part A which covers hospitalization.
Were you told how to access the retirement? Is this Social Security? Does she have an ID? She must have had something to get on the flight. Write everything down as you go. Start with flight, airline etc.
I assume you are not her POA and it is too late for her to assign one due to her condition. Does she have a POA?
If she was flown to Houston and then you took her to Gatesville you may have assumed the position to a degree, especially if you allow her to stay in your home very long. Tenants have rights, etc.
https://www.dfps.texas.gov/Adult_Protection/default.asp
https://mentalhealthtx.org/facilities/central-counties-center-for-mhmr-services-gatesville-mental-health-clinic/
there is a crisis hotline on this link below.
https://centralcountiesservices.org/
https://lawyers.findlaw.com/lawyer/firm/elder-law/gatesville/texas
Were you able to make connection with anyone yesterday?
How was your night? Hoping you have taken action for the good of all.
Does MIL have long standing mental issues such as bipolar?
Meds can make a huge difference if she does.
The take her to the bus comment made me wonder if she has “always been this way”/
I can totally understand how it took a minute to figure out that MIL had to be watched carefully if you have not been around her in awhile.
It’s not everyday someone puts the cat in the oven.
I have a relative who hallucinates and has been taken to the bus before (at her request). Very difficult to find help for someone younger who has these problems and no ability to insure medication compliance. since MIL is Medicare age you should be able to get her help.
Let is know how it is going when you get a minute. We will continue to support you if we hear back from you.
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