Our estranged sister has been in the hospital for almost a month. She needs 24 hour medical care that we are not able to provide. What are our options?

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azguyphx Asked August 2023

Our estranged sister has been in the hospital for almost a month. She needs 24 hour medical care that we are not able to provide. What are our options?

Marta had 4 aneurisms and an ischemic brain bleed. She is completely indigent. Has no savings, does not qualify for Medicare, and has not worked for 30 years. She was diagnosed bi-polar as well as having been hit by a car from behind in her early 20's. The crash crushed her lower spine and damaged her neck vertebrae. Due to her injuries and medications, she was unable to work. She has lived with her boyfriend of 19 years. They were barely getting by.

The hospital will be releasing her soon. However, she will need 24 hour care for quite some time. As well as therapy. Neither the boyfriend, nor her remaining family, can cover the cost of the nursing home. None of us are in a position financially or physically to take care of her.

I have done a great deal of searching but cannot find any services or programs that could take her.

We have been estranged for quite some time. The rest of the details of her life are unknown. I do not know how she got into this position. But this is where we all are as of now.

My other sister is trying to get her on SSI disability, but that can take up to 18 months. She has been in Tyler, Texas for the last 30 years.

We absolutely do not know what to do. Any information about county, state, federal, or charitable help/services would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

Michael

Care Decisions Family Caregiver Mental Health Paying for Care

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score 1 · Answer 1

You do not have to be involved what so ever. You inform, like said, the Social Worker that you have had no contact with ur sister for 30 years. That you and her other siblings are not in the position to care for her or financially support her. The boyfriend can also tell them the same thing. UNSAFE DISCHARGE!

The State will need to step in. From what you have described, your sister is very serious and needs help that no one can give her in a home setting. I am really surprised she has lived this long. I just lost a friend to a brain bleed and a classmate just lost her husband to one. Your sister needs 24/7 care in a SNF. Let the SW handle everything. If the State wants to pursue Social Security Disability to help offset her care, then let them do it. They may be able to get it sooner. I have been thru that process, you do not want to do it if u don't need to.

Don't allow the SW to say there is help. As soon as you take Sis out those doors, you have taken over responsibility for her. Just say NO.

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score 1 · Answer 2

SSI, not SSDI. SSI is Supplemental Security Income is for disabled people who have not worked enough to earn Social Security Disability Insurance, SSDI.

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score 4 · Answer 3

Yes to stepping back and allowing the hospital social worker and social services to step in and become her guardian. Once this happens they will find a facility for her and take care of all her needs.

Do not sign any papers, do not listen to the hospital if they promise to help once she's home (they won't, they just want her out), make sure they understand she is an "unsafe discharge", make sure her boyfriend doesn't go get her... if he does, he'll be stuck with her care in a very disadvantaged situation.

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score 4 · Answer 4

Do nothing, the social worker at the hospital will make arrangements. Do not get involved. If asked if you or another sibling can provide a safe environment say "No".

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score 5 · Answer 5

You are estranged so there is nothing really you need to do. OK, she is getting released...to who? The social worker needs to know there is no one who can care for her and other arrangements need to be made ...BY THE SOCIAL WORKER. Do not get involved other than to alert the social worker of the situation.

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score 7 · Answer 6

She should be on SSDI and Medicaid. Why hasn't she been receiving those benefits for the last 30 years? At this point that is not that important anyway I suppose, it is more a rhetorical question. You say the hospital is releasing her soon? To where? The hospital can't release her to an unsafe environment, and if family is unable to provide a safe environment, they obviously cannot be the ones to take her in. She needs to go to a Skilled Nursing Facility for rehab and possibly long term care. The Social Worker at the hospital needs to help apply her for LTC Medicaid, and the case manager needs to find a facility that will take her under Medicaid pending. Until they find that facility, they must hold her at the hospital. If you want to help your sister you need to fight like hell to make sure these steps are taken. Remember family does not have to be forced into providing 24 hour care for someone who needs it, and the hospital, under threat of losing Medicare funding, cannot release a patient to a situation that would be detrimental to her safety. Enlist the help of a disability lawyer if necessary.

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score 2 · Answer 7

Az, is the hospital suggesting in any way that her family needs to provide or pay for care?

It sounds like what your sister needs is rehab, which should be paid for by Medicaid, since she is indigent.

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score 1 · Answer 8

Listen to Barb.

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score 11 · Answer 9

The hospital social worker should be arranging for the state to take guardianship. They can get her approved for funding on an emergency basis

Step back and make NO offers about taking her into your homes

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Our estranged sister has been in the hospital for almost a month. She needs 24 hour medical care that we are not able to provide. What are our options?

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