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S
slilly Asked August 2023

My father, who is in his 5th year of vascular dementia, craves sweets. How do I get him to eat regular food?

My father, who is a diabetic, is craving sweets. We actually have to hide everything that has sugar in it. He has gone as far as to eat jelly out of the jar and drink syrup out of the bottle. We live with him and try to make him eat good food but if it’s not sweet he doesn’t want it. Help!

Hothouseflower Aug 2023
Let him eat what he wants and enjoy one of the few pleasures he has left. At this stage in his illness what is the point of denying him his sweets to keep him going longer?
ventingisback Aug 2023
True. I wish the same applied to me: then I’d be eating sweets all day. Instead I have to eat some lettuce and carrots, not just sweets :(.

(Ventingisback)
funkygrandma59 Aug 2023
Being that vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of only 5 years, and your father is in his 5th year, I would say just let him eat whatever he wants to. He's going to die sooner than later anyway so why not let him enjoy his final time here on earth eating what he enjoys?

A lady in my caregiver support group's mom who lived to be 103. lived on chocolate, ice-cream and cashews, the last 5 years of her life.
That's the kind of diet that I want to be on in my final years. I'm just saying.
And nobody better try and stop me either.

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PeggySue2020 Aug 2023
My dad had chronic kidney failure and then dementia. He enjoyed Big Macs until two weeks ago. He died yesterday.

If the only thing he wants now are cherry pie and doughnuts, my recommendation is to feed him just that and not worry about the diabetes.
CaringinVA Aug 2023
So sorry to hear of your dad’s passing Peggy Sue. ~ CaringinVA
Midkid58 Aug 2023
How old is your dad? At some point, I think that you should just leave him be.

A good friend of mine had her mom in a NH in Hospice Care. All she wanted to eat was those Lindt chocolates. My friend fought her on this, but her mom had MANY suppliers of these, and finally, she realized that her mom had no joys left in life and these were the one thing she really enjoyed.

It didn't hasten her death and she died with the taste of her beloved chocolate on her lips. IF she had her chocolate stash, she was far more willing to eat 'real food' instead of bingeing on chocolates all day.

I'm sure it mean a lot more insulin shots, but, hey, she had so little joy left in her life by the end.

lealonnie1 Aug 2023
My mother had dementia and lots of heart issues, too. She .lived in memory care AL and I'd load her up with all her favorite sweets, plus she'd order ice cream every day. Why are you trying to prolong your father's suffering with dementia and preventing him from eating what the disease is making him crave? .et him eat what he wants, it's one of the last pleasures he has left in life.

JoAnn29 Aug 2023
Its because with Dementia, they lose their smell and taste. Sweets they can taste and its an immediate satisfaction.

Daughterof1930 Aug 2023
Your dad has little to make him happy with such a difficult diagnosis. If sugar brings him pleasure, so be it. None of us are getting out of here alive, and while it’s smart to monitor what we eat and do our best to eat healthy, there’s a point when it truly doesn’t matter. Five years into the cruelty that is dementia is surely that point

TNtechie Aug 2023
You might try some sweet tasting treats that are not that sweet. Strawberries and low carb or no sugar added ice cream or whipped cream made with splenda can taste sweet while sticking to a lower carb diet. Grapes, fresh corn, watermelon, and cantaloupe are all sweeter tasting than their sugar levels. Sugar free candies and syrups can be consumed in small quantities; my dad loved Hershey's syrup over ice cream and peanut butter. Pound cakes and flavored breads have fewer carbs because they lack the sugary icing of most cakes. There are some low carb "keto" cookies made with almond flour too. Be careful about sugar alcohols; although they do not push glucose levels higher themselves, the body does burn the alcohols before glucose so eating several carbs and sugar alcohols at the same time can push the glucose levels up.

My father always had a sweet tooth but his vascular dementia did seem to enhance it in his last years. Although he did not have diabetes, I did try to limit the amount of pure sugar he consumed without diminishing his pleasure in enjoying sweets. Fortunately he was usually satisfied with smaller amounts as long as he had a sweet with every meal. I am in the camp of allowing an elder to eat an unbalanced diet (if that's what they want) instead of a "good" diet after some disease like vascular dementia strikes as long as it doesn't negatively impact daily life quality. The goal is to enjoy the days that are left; not have more days of questionable quality.

MeDolly Aug 2023
My father had diabetes, he died at age 84, after having this disease for 30 years.

Till the day he died he ate sweets, as many as he liked to. He didn't die from the diabetes, he died from small cell lung cancer.

As we age we have very little pleasures left in life, I would let him eat whatever he likes, as long as he is eating.

Grandma1954 Aug 2023
Grandma1954 August 5, 2023 7:42 am
Honestly....This and this hurts....
Your dad is going to die.
Your dad has a lot of health problems. None of those will ever get better.
If your dad wants sweets I would allow it.
If you can provide a meal that he typically would have enjoyed and, just as you might try to "bribe" a child, tell him if he eats he can have dessert.
You are not going to get him to "understand" that if he eats cookies and ice cream it will adversely effect his health.
I would suggest that if you do not have Hospice yet that you make a call and see if he is eligible. Get the help that you need and the supplies that you need.
(By the way if dad is a Veteran he and your mom may qualify for benefits. Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission)

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