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dnajaras Asked August 2023

The doctor who deemed my mother incompetent and activated me as health care proxy deemed me unavaiable when I was in a medical appointment.

Can the MD do this? I made them aware that I might not be available one afternoon as I had a critical medical appointment two hours away and might get stuck in traffic as it was close to a holiday weekend. I instructed the health care providers via email as well as the alternative, my sister, to have them reach out to her for anything like signing admission papers for rehab. The MD then activated the surrogate (alternative) as the decision maker forever (lifetime) due to my unavailiblity though I give them proper notice. Can a MD do this? Based on his document, should I assume I am no longer the health care proxy? Has anyone had a similiar experience? I thought in the state of Massachusetts only a court can deem a person incompetent not a MD?


JoAnn29 Oct 2023
Yes, this OP has a few posts concerning POAs. Seems brother holds financial and OP has Medical. OP is unsure what rights she has. Her last post I suggested the POAs and other siblings see an Elder lawyer to explain to them what responsibilities each has and rights. The financial POA lives with the mother showing signs of Dementia.

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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2023
This thread is from August.

Justwow123 Oct 2023
If you look back at all of Dnajaras’s posts, Her main concern is not HOW her parent is being cared for. It’s about WHO has the power to make decisions. I don’t believe that she a reliable narrator and question her motives here

You are polite Alva.

AlvaDeer Oct 2023
dnajaras,
One of our responders took the time to do a bit of research regarding your many previous posts, most of which don't make a lot of sense when we try to put the puzzle together.
This post in particular makes no sense whatsoever. There seems a lot unsaid here about all circumstances in this case.
I do wish you luck, but don't think, given the lack of full disclosure that I can help in future.
anonymous1732518 Oct 2023
😆
BarbBrooklyn Oct 2023
No matter what the reason, you WERE unavailable. That seems to just be a plain fact. Why do have a problem with that?
AlvaDeer Oct 2023
See Bounce's update below.
AlvaDeer Oct 2023
Sounds like misunderstanding as makes ZERO sense at all.
AlvaDeer Oct 2023
Bounce, thanks for your research. It is looking like we need not waste time treading water in this lake.
JoAnn29 Aug 2023
I think the doctor stepped over the line. He can change a POA assignment only your Mom can.

Maybe its different in other States but My Moms MPOA said that her PCP could declare her incompetent so my Medical POA became effective. I never had to go to court. My DPOA was immediate so no Dr. Or court intervention there. I am pretty sure that if Moms Financial POA had said that a doctor or doctors could declare her incompetent that a Court would not be needed. The only time I have ever heard the Court being involved was for guardianship. Then a Judge rules on that with Doctors records helping the Judge make the decision.

ventingisback Aug 2023
“only a court can deem a person incompetent not a MD”

This is correct.

“The MD then activated the surrogate (alternative) as the decision maker forever (lifetime) “

He’s way out of line.
Your mom chose YOU as proxy, and sister as alternate. MD can’t change the document! It sounds like he’s on a power trip.

You can’t be expected to be available every minute of your life, every day of your life. In addition you warned everyone of your medical apptm.
ventingisback Aug 2023
I wonder if MD is just referring to rehab? Maybe MD means, your sister will be the main contact point for mom’s rehab? Then after rehab, it’s back to normal: you as head proxy?

Ask MD what he’s doing. Explain what I wrote above. He can’t change the POA document. Only you OP, can resign from POA and say: from now on my sister is proxy, not me.

(Ventingisback)
Midkid58 Aug 2023
I'd deep dive into this, Sounds fishy to me. You didn't ditch out on the appt, you had to deal with your own personal LIFE.

Maybe contact this Dr first and ask why this happened? Then if no real reason is given, you can contact a lawyer for help.

I imagine every state has their laws and rules and so you'll have to go with the rules in your state.

You don't say--but did they appoint your SISTER as health care proxy?

Isthisrealyreal Aug 2023
A doctor DOES NOT have the authority to name or change a health care proxy. Nor can they legally declare someone incompetent.

My advice, can this overstepping idiot and find a new doctor that knows they are a medical practitioner and not a wannabe lawyer in a white coat.

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