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Anibal Asked August 2023

Selling mom's home with Durable POA.

Mom is in a nursing home with dementia and bedbound. She was placed a year ago against her wishes. She does not want her home sold, as she plans to return to it. She cannot return as she needs 24/7 skilled nursing care. She is otherwise healthy, able to communicate effectively and voice her needs and preferences effectively to others. She has sufficient financial resources to pay for nursing home care for many years. Thus, Medicaid rules and limitations do not apply to her. I live out of state and feel the burden of maintaining her home as the years go by. She lives in Colorado.

Socrealtor Aug 2023
I would urge you to proceed with selling the house. Your hands are full ensuring good care for your Mom. The added burden of looking after the house long distance only increases your burden with no true benefit.
If the house is vacant, homeowner's insurance may not cover if there's an insurance event. Also, the value will decline the longer it is not lived in. In short, there's no upside to keeping it.
Once you clean it out or dispose of personal property you will be ready to put it on the market. Now is a good time to engage in that process without the pressure of deadlines.
Find a good and reputable agent who will go the extra mile for you. It will be a true relief. If you don't do this now, then you will have to go through probate before you can sell should your mother take a turn the other way and pass on.
I am an agent in another state from where my LO lives. We sold his house and it has freed up more time to focus on my LO rather than his house.
As a side note, it was interesting being a client rather than the agent.

JoAnn29 Aug 2023
I would not even consider putting Mom back into her home with 24/7 care with you not living in the same State. They always want to go home.

Does ur DPOA say that you can sell property, if so, sell the house, My Moms was such an albatross and I lived in town. It was a 123yr old farmhouse that needed a lot of repair she could not afford. Most of her SS was going to keeping it up. I am in NJ and we have the highest property taxes in the nation. Once she was on Medicaid, I paid out of pocket for the utilities. The taxes I let go. It eventually sold but for pennies. I so wish I had talked her into an apartment after Dad died.
Anibal Aug 2023
DPOA does state "sale of real estate" so I guess I can.

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ravensdottir Aug 2023
Is there a reason 24/7 nursing home-level care at home isn't doable, especially since Medicaid isn't needed? I did a quick search and saw at least one company that offers a full suite of care from minimal to total care. But sadly, after a year's absence, Mom may not even recognize her house if she were to return to it.

Her financial resources might go further (time and scope) if Mom were home with care coming in to her. If that's feasible, and you really need to ease into selling the house, perhaps you could work through a realtor to offer a rent-to-own deal where the renter could have a portion to themselves while Mom's there then take over the entire house when she's gone.
Socrealtor Aug 2023
PS Your DPOA allows you to sell. If that's too complex, you could consider being appointed as her Guardian. That would give you more power if that is needed.
Ohwow323 Aug 2023
Sometimes a person with dementia is referring to their childhood home. If you can avoid the subject then do. If you feel the need to tell her... my experience is... don't. My daddy wanted this and wanted that and he was just not in this world. When I was with him I agreed with him and told him what he needed to hear. This kept him calm and satisfied. He never knew the difference and I never had to stress about it. As POA you need to make sure mom is taken care of more power to you and blessings too! This is not easy but stand your ground and know that you have support here! : )

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2023
Welcome, Anibal!

Can you not hire a property manager locally? Is the home rented out? That would seem to be the best option.

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