Do the AL facilities you’re acquainted with switch up residents’ dining partners every few months?

I think they try to put like with like. Really someone who shows no signs of Dementia would not enjoy sitting with some who cannot hold a conversation. My Moms AL was mixed. But, they did have seating arrangements. He first week she sat with a man worse then her. Just the two of them. I stopped by after dinner to find both had been left alone while the other residents were put in their room. Mom was crying. I brought it to the RNs attn. She felt they were doing great. I told her Mom was crying. I also told her I was surprised they were doing great because Mom usually shied away from men. Next time I went, she was at a table of women.

The first AL my mother was in would do this only if certain individuals did not get along with each other and the situation became stressful. It could bother the equilibrium of others at the table.

I would speak to a director and indicate the positives you feel with staying at the same table with certain others. The people at my mother's table were kind and I recall their concern when my mother had to have an outpatient procedure done. I grew to recognize them and feel fondness for them.

I hope your wishes are recognized and given merit.

Since you Volunteer I suggest that you talk to your Volunteer Supervisor and tell him or her exactly what you have said here.
There is validity in keeping the seating the same.
I can understand if a few people are having problems with the table mates that have but switching them should solve the problem without changing everyone.

Thanks everyone; you confirmed my suspicions. I have a feeling that EDs without extensive background in senior care tend to resort to kindergarten strategies, which just don’t work. I’ve discussed this with them before, but think I’ll have to try again.

Sounds cruel to me (unless you explicitly want to move). You get attached to people.

As you said:
“results in a few days of upset, some crying, some anger, and certainly anxiety”

Thanks everyone; you confirmed my suspicions. I have a feeling that EDs without extensive background in senior care tend to resort to kindergarten strategies, which just don’t work. I’ve discussed this with them before, but think I’ll have to try again.

My mothers does not, open seating no rotation, they sit wherever they like.

My mother would be very upset if she was forced to do what your mothers does.

Sounds like the game, "Chinese Fire Drill".(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_fire_drill)..............perhaps a Geriatric Psychologist could speak with the director? Director could offer switching services to those who request it.

My sister and I spend a lot of time tending to our parents at their ALF (in Fremont, CA). Both parents are at different stages of dementia. I want to second Monomoyick about ALF staff not having extensive background in senior care! What's worse, care managers/staff only requires 8-hours of training in CA. Just learning about the different types of dementia takes more than 8 hours! At our parents' ALF, their Head of Care Manager is also the Head of Maintenance is also the in-house dietician; and, the Director of Operations! Her care staff is always short handed and under-qualified which is why sis and I felt the need to be at the ALF to ensure parents are not neglected in any way. We have brought discrepancies and issues to the ALF management; unfortunately, their corrections only last for a little while before going back to business as usual.

ALF management prefers to deal with family members on individual and case by case basis because they would only need to address issues for one resident at a time. We have been trying to establish a Family Council to identify any issues/deficiencies/inequities, suggest recommendations, corrective actions, and/or preventative actions to the ALF management. We feel there is strength in numbers, ALF is more likely to listen and take action when there is more than just one family member voicing concerns. The hard part is 'forming' a family council though. If you intend to keep your LO at the ALF and are concern about their quality of life there, form Family Council.

Monomoyick: Since you volunteer there, bring your concerns up to the staff - a perfect opportunity to do so.