Hello, sorry in advance for the long post. I take care of my grandmother along with her daughter. Her husband passed in January. She has been handling it really well up until about a month and a half ago. Since then:
1: she used to be very punctual about taking her medications, now if she is not reminded she will not take them.
2. She repeats herself over and over again. She asks questions and statements that she has asked 30 minutes ago or earlier.
3. She is not wanting to keep herself clean. She does not want to bathe. She also does not want to change her diaper when it is soaked in urine. She won’t change it unless we tell her too. She gets very angry when we bring it up to her. This is not normal for her to not be clean.
4. She does not sleep at night and gets extremely restless and irritated as the day goes on.
5. She will not be alone any more. She recently stayed in a hotel room with her daughter that had 2 beds in the same room but would not let her daughter sleep in the other bed because she cried and said she can’t sleep because she can’t be alone.
6. She can’t stay in her house or someone’s else’s longer than 30 minutes because she says she feels suffocated. She gets very emotional and cries. When we take her in the car she cries and says she wants to go home.
7. She calls me all day long while I’m at work no matter how many times myself or other people tell her that I am at work.
8. She eats and then less than an hour later she asks for more food and argued with her and says we haven’t fed her all day.
I wrote down this exact list and talked with her family doctor about it in detail. She brushed it off and said that we all get memory issues as we get older. I think she needs to see someone else. I just don’t know how to bring it up to the doctor. Or should I just try to make an appointment somewhere else myself?
she was also negative for a uti.
I know she has a lot going on with dealing with her grief and other health issues and aging but I’m very worried about it.
has anyone had a loved one that started showing similar behaviors so quickly?
just exhausted. I’d love all your experiences. Thank you all.
6 Answers
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I suppose it depends how important having a diagnosis, a label, is to your family. For some, vague 'memory issues' related to aging would actually be enough. ('Senility' it used to be called)
For other families having a correct & accurate diagnosis is vital. Medical & Neurological appointments to rule out other conditions before any talk cognitive decline or dementia is made. Is this Alzeimer's Disease? Vascular Dementia or another type of Dementia? Has there been stroke or TIAs?
The much bigger question of course is what will you do with that information? IF a diagnosis is made - how will it change things? Keep on as same?
Add in home help aides to help you?
Start looking for facility care?
Just b/c someone is a dr doesn't mean they're the best for your LO.
Shop around and find a geriatric specialist. I would think that the right combo of meds could give your gma a new lease on life.
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Before you go see a neurologist, you might want to get your grandma to sign a POA for “just in case”. After a diagnosis, she won’t be able to sign.
If you DO get a diagnosis, know that your grandmother will not change these behaviors. In fact, they will only get worse. You’ll probably never “convince” her to change them.
What will possibly help is to see a geriatric psychiatrist and get her some meds for her anxiety. You don’t need to wait for a diagnosis to see this doc.
Best wishes to you.
Meanwhile, look up on YouTube videos by a woman named Teepa Snow. Her videos are very good.
Prior to her appointment send the above list via the patient portal so the neurologist knows exactly what's going on before he/she even walks through the door.
I had to do that with my late husband, otherwise when his doctor would walk in and ask him how he was doing the answer was always fine. With his doctor having the truth beforehand he could then better help my husband and me.
It's worth a shot. Wishing you well.