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Susan7276 Asked August 2023

My fiancé has me listed on Five Wishes. Case management at hospital claimed not advanced directive and not adhering to it?

1st 2 case managers at hospital stated never heard of Five Wishes, not advanced directive, not notarized & demanded I give fiancés sisters info. They stated they’d get it by paper trail. Elderly sister tried taking care of him before & medical & legal issues arose. Now dr stated he will decide if fiancé will go in rehab or stay with me as I WORK!!!! Fiancé weak & lost weight as hadn’t been eating & hospital wouldn’t give him feeding tube for weeks even though I requested it as he had lost over 25% of weight in 10 days there. He’s on narcotics due to cancer so if he just took pills & is incoherent dr wasn’t going to ? again, just decide.There are 2 documents that list only me.

JoAnn29 Aug 2023
https://www.fivewishes.org/about-five-wishes/

It says on their site that Five Wishes is legally binding in all States. Maybe consultation with a lawyer is needed. Maybe a letter stating that Five Wishes is legal.

Really, if a person even write down what they want and signs it, that should be legal. It keeps the family and the hospital having to make decisions.

If your fiance is terminal, which sounds like he is, I would request Hospice. Then no one needs to make a decision. Once on Hospice no heroic measures are taken. He is given meds to help with anxiety and pain.

NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
One of my mother’s home health nurses gave us five wishes paperwork. We did fill it out. I don’t feel like five wishes is specific enough.

When mom entered rehab after a fall, the administration spoke with me about POLST documentation. That’s what I would look into if I were you.

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MACinCT Aug 2023
I feel that you have too much hope for someone who is near end of life. If you have proper documents that are not being recognized then see a lawyer. As far as rehab or home care, sometimes doctors need to look at the big picture of safety

BarbBrooklyn Aug 2023
I would contact FiveWishes.org and seek their advice if you aren't going to work with a lawyer to resolve this.

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