We try to distract, explain and show but she is on repeat. The absolute best showtimer, her Dr even falls for it. The caregiver and I both stand in awe of her performances.
I even find myself wondering if this is more about the overdose of Advane and Clorzpam for 30 years, in conjunction with the dementia which I have read menic’s dementia but of course the current Dr’s though all new want no part of this conversation.
Will not allow me to clean out refrigerator filled with food well past freshness date, thankfully we did disconnect the stove and she isn’t great at microwave cooking.
wears same clothes over and over. Takes French sink baths. Can not tell the truth but has always been this way, not certain if she is skitzo or bi-polar. Can not get her to speak with anyone. Doesn’t want anyone in her home, often including me. Paranoid, looses thing daily and thinks someone is stealing from her, broom, dustpan , hangers, cat food on and on . Thankfully she did give me the bills to pay but gets hateful when I remind her of her checking balance, I think she expects me to pay for her expenses as she is saving to buy another car( I had to get ride of hers) and recently renewed her drivers license inspite of her caregiver.
if you have no solutions and have read my posts before, thank you for allowing my rant, this is a long distance situation and worries me more than I can express however I do understand so many of us have our hands tied until the “big event”
I can only pray the Alzheimer’s/Dementia groups can rattle enough chains to better care for our families that are struggling with all these diseases bring. My personal stress level is over the top watching from afar and trying to help… input or prayers greatly appreciated!
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Also, if the doctor is giving her the clock face test, and the remembering 3 words 10 minutes later test... how is she getting around that with show timing? One cannot conjure up "good memory" on command... When you say her doctor "falls for it" does this mean no one is going with her to these appointments and sitting in the exam room with her? If not, this is what I'd be sure to do in the future. It's what I did with my MIL: I went to her appointment with a pre-written note (that I discretely gave to the staff pre-exam) explaining who I was in relationship to her, what behaviors are worrisome and to please test her for cognitive/memory issues and for UTI and asking to sit in the exam room. They accommodated me and I was able to sit positioned behind my MIL while they gave her the cognitive exam, and I could correct her verbal answers to her health questions by moving my head so that the doctor knew what was reality and what was not for my MIL.
Clean out the refrigerator no matter what mom says, she'll forget about it anyway.
She can't live alone anymore! NO MORE! Get her out of there!
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I was greatly helped by watching Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. She is an expert on dementia, and explains why it is changing our LOs and how to better engage with them to make interacting with them more productive and peaceful. Please educate yourself and don't be in denial (mental illness history or not)... there is no cure for dementia, only strategies on how to cope with it.
Does our Mom have a DPoA? Is anyone her PoA? If not, this needs to be put into place if at all possible.
Has she been checked for other medical causes for her behaviors, like a UTI, thyroid imbalance, vitamin deficiency, over- or under-medicating of prescription drugs or sleeping pills; dehydration, etc.? These should all be discounted or treated. An accurate diagnosis will be necessary to get her the proper care going forward.
I wish you all the best as you work through solutions to improve your situation.
Perhaps you need to hire a new caregiver that is better able to redirect her when she gets stuck in these loops.
And I'm sure you already know that your mom should NOT be living by herself at this point, and yes it's very tragic that a lot of folks have to wait for some kind of "event" to happen before the family can take some kind of action.
Perhaps it's time you make a trip to your moms for a month or so and get the ball rolling towards getting her placed before the event happens. I'm just saying.
I wish you well in getting all of this figured out.