My cousin is a professional caregiver in her 60's and the doctors acknowledge her as a very good one. She's now become friends with an independently wealthy client who she's been working for for some time. The friend has started inviting my cousin to attend events with her. Recently, they went to a concert, which meant packing the lady up, traveling a long way on public transport, and pushing her in her wheelchair, then getting her back in her home = 5hrs of unpaid work + being late to her own remaining appointments. She doesn't want to hurt her friend's feelings but also doesn't want to create any resentment in herself, not to mention the wear and tear on her own body. Pls spare judgments re professionalism, this is exactly what she is trying to work out, hence the question.
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The client may not want to go to these events alone, hence asking cousin to go with her.
Or more likley the client can't get to these events without someone working out all the details of her necessary care and literally taking her.
It sounds to me like the family doesn't want to deal with the work it take to get a handicapped senior from one place to the other and on public transport as well.
It sounds to me like there's some advantage taking here from the family and the client. More from the family though.
Both people are in need of an attitude adjustment!
Business and pleasure don’t mix well. Nix the friendship.
Never assume anything! Set clear boundaries from the get go.
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I know you said to spare judgement but this is what answers to your question will be.
Your cousin was asked to go to the concert. She should/could have asked is this "am I going as a guest or as your caregiver?" your cousin could then have added "I do have another job scheduled for 5:00pm will we be back by then?"
If this client/friend is actually a friend then they will understand and be respectful of your cousins time, skills, and her limitations.
Honestly if your cousin was injured helping the client/friend while off the clock what would happen then? (would she be entitled to workmen's comp? )
It might be best to begin to set some boundaries. Start declining the concerts and other "perks" if it means she will be working with no pay.
She should not be doing these trips for free.
So which was this?
Two friends going to a concert or a caregiver helping a lovely client attend a concert?
The waters are muddied. Not a good thing.
It is not really a good thing for a professional to become a friend. It is best to stay "professional" in this old nurse's opinion. Things get very muddied quickly and easily.
For instance as a friend you don't get payment for helping another friend go to a concert. As a caregiver you do. And what happens when this friend-caregiver-friend is left some money? I can kind of guarantee what happens. The poop hits the fan from the family.
My advice is to now pull back and keep friends friends and clients clients. A check in on BD and Christmas is lovely. I think other things a mistake. They both end now confused over whether to seek/expect compensation or not. Very uncomfortable situation.
As a professional, in future, if the client calls and says "I would love to take you to a concert" then say "And I would love to attend this concert so that you can, but I would be doing it in a professional capacity. I would require blah blah and blah."
If they went to this concert as friends the incapacitated person should have hired a caregiver to attend to that person's needs during the concert.
Otherwise this is a friend's with benefits thing where the friend is clearly being used to caregive and do the work and not get paid. No benefit to this person at all but lots of benefits to the wealthy cheap person.
It's not a fun night out if you have to act like a caregiver to the other person.
Or, they can discuss your cousin going to work for her wealthy client full-time (if the price is right) and she can quit her others.