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kim0922lan Asked August 2023

My mom has dementia and can no longer care for herself, but she refuses to go live in a nursing home. What can I do immediately?

AlvaDeer Oct 2023
Call APS.
Tell APS that your mother is a senior at risk and the reasons you believe that to be the case. Ask that they visit and open a case. Let them know that your mother will not act in her own protection nor allows others to do so.

Careful now. They will suggest you become guardian and indeed may help you to get temporary guardianship quickly. Watch what you wish for. This leaves you responsible to manage her and all her business affairs as well as make applications to Medicaid (if needed) and etc. As well as leaves you with record keeping on all this. This is difficult enough to manage for a cooperative senior; I know having done it. If you don't wish to have guardianship tell them you have not the time, knowledge nor wearwithall to do this and tell them you would request state guardianship. Again, under watching what you wish for, at that point you nor anyone else is able to interfere in choices the state makes for placement and management of her assets.

JoAnn29 Oct 2023
Please, when answering a post, note the date. This is from August. The OP asked one question and never responded.

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ConcernPartner Oct 2023
Well even with a medical diagnosis of dementia, in the State of Nevada, it's not possible even for the POA to pull them in Memory Care when they don't want to go. They have to do something harmful to themselves or others. Currently the father lives at home with 24/7 care.
It's a challenge for the caregivers for sure.

JoAnn29 Aug 2023
A person with Dementia can no longer make informed decisions. So a POA makes them for them. I just picked an AL and placed my Mom. None of them want to leave what is familiar to them. But when there is no one to care for them, the decision needs to be made to place them.

AlvaDeer Aug 2023
A person with dementia may be so advanced that this is no longer his or her decision. That person who is POA or guardian or conservator will have to make the decision for the person with advanced dementia as they are no longer capable of such complicated decision making.

Grandma1954 Aug 2023
You say this is a friend of yours.
A few questions for your friend.
Is she or anyone POA?
If there is a medical diagnosis and particularly if a doctor has said she needs 24/7 care the POA can place your friends mom in a facility at the care level that is appropriate for her needs. that cold be a Skilled Nursing facility or Memory Care.
The mom does not have to "agree" to be placed in Memory Care. Once she has been declared incompetent and POA is in effect the POA has a duty to see that she is safe and cared for.
If no one is POA then Guardianship is necessary.
A family member can become Guardian, in some cases a close friend has been appointed Guardian. If there is no one that wants to become Guardian the Courts step in and a Guardian is appointed by the Court. All decisions then are made by the Court appointed Guardian and if there is family they have little to nothing to say about the care.

Geaton777 Aug 2023
Your profile says the Mom has dementia. Does she have a medical diagnosis? Or is this an opinion? Does she have a PoA? If not, you may want to contact social services for her county and see what guidance they give you. If you live together with your Mom I'm not sure what APS will do if they are called. Just because you live with her doesn't make you her caregiver automatically. If your Mom has a medical diagnosis of dementia and does have a PoA, then the PoA decides that she goes into a facility. Whether she physically resists is another piece of the puzzle. This is why it may be best to go the ER > hospital > facility route.

97yroldmom Aug 2023
Your friend can call adult protective services (APS) and report her mom as a vulnerable adult living alone. Does the mom have funds to pay for a NH? Is she incompetent, have a diagnosis of dementia? If she is deemed competent, she can choose to not go to a NH?

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