My mom is such an example. Questions open.

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PeggySue2020 Asked September 2023

My mom is such an example. Questions open.

My dad passed Aug 4 at the age of 90. My mom is 87. My youngest sister lives down the street.

Mom doesn’t want ys or any of us living with her at this time. I told her that was fine. She has all her adls and I-adls including driving, so I told her every day to drive somewhere, even to the 7 eleven next to the McDonalds where my mom was known for picking up my dads Big Mac every day.

She also said that should she get to where dad was, she’d rather be in a home. As we know, they change their minds about this, but my mom is being realistic and compsssionate.

Aging in Place Care Decisions Living Independently Multi-generational Living

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score 0 · Answer 1

Dens Aunt said his cousin could place her if needed. She was
Diagnosed with Dementia in her late 80s and changed her mind. He was in his 50s and had a business with a partner, so could not quit work to care for her. So, he had to place her.

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score 3 · Answer 2

I find it amazing that your dad had a Big Mac every day and lived to be 90.
I haven't had a Big Mac in 50 years. Every morning it's oatmeal with two scoops of Trader Joe's milled flax meal and almond milk. Boring as hell.
I'd rather have a Big Mac.
Hopefully you are blessed with his genes.

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My Aunt had grape nuts and prunes every morning. Lived to be 93.

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score 1 · Answer 3

Sorry peggy i don't buy it. Even dad refused to go to a facility when he clearly needed to be in one.

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The other day my sister texted me for my ssn. I gave it and asked what it was about, and I also asked her. My mom was quick to inform me that it was her money until she dies, which is the cognitive response I wanted.

Shoukd she need incontinence care down the road, she will have to hire someone,
.

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score 1 · Answer 4

She'll quickly come to her senses about moving to a home

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score 2 · Answer 5

This is exactly how all elderly parents should be! You won big-time in the Lottery of Life, mother-wise. And, as my favorite maxim goes, “Don’t trouble Trouble ‘til Trouble troubles YOU!” She could likely be just dandy right where she is until a peaceful, sudden end comes. If not, plenty of time to execute Plan B. (By the way, you sound lucky with your sister, as well!)

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My great Great Grandfather used to say that too.

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score 2 · Answer 6

I admire my mom for not moving to the default of moving in ys immediately. For now, it works perfectly: My sister drops her dog off daily, so mom walks it. My niece rides over on her scooter after school when ys has her (she splits custody with her ex) and my sister who loves cooking makes family meals.

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score 3 · Answer 7

I like the idea of assisted living also.

My mom and dad were married 56 years. It’s such an adjustment to lose a husband. Mom missed my dad terribly.

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score 0 · Answer 8

This is really good advice, Fawnby.

It Is not now but when at 87.

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score 7 · Answer 9

Suggest to her that you should be looking together for the kind of assisted living place she’d like. That way she can have input. It should offer stepped-up care so she can stay in place if she needs that. You’re so lucky that she’s raised the subject. Most of those move-in-with-mom ideas don’t work well. Ditto for moving her in with you.

Have fun helping her make a plan. She seems wonderful!

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When I visited places for my mom, it gave me insight to tell my daughter which places I liked for myself should the time come. Good idea Fawnby.

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My mom is such an example. Questions open.

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