What is needed to have my mom placed in memory care?

Here are some suggestions to deal with Sundowning:

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/health/info-2017/ways-to-manage-sundown-syndrome.html

Also, talk to her doctor about meds for anxiety. This is merciful since her broken brain is no longer able to get her to a state of peacefulness without help.

You dont sell someone with a broken brain. You just do it. Start visiting MCs without her to feel the vibe. When visiting, ask the staff for suggestions on providing the ruse to physically get her there. You might notice that they provide similar answers that we give here.
Speak to her doctor also about the psychological aspects. She might need calming medications before she moves, even if they knock her out, those meds can be adjusted.

IMO I would place her sooner rather than later, for the exact reasons BurntCaregiver said. The sale of her house can go towards her care…all of this after consulting an elder care attorney to make sure thee i’s are dotted and t’s crossed.

Placement and emptying and prepping a house for sale etc.. is an enormous job, but having her at home would be even more difficult. Bringing in caregivers, if one calls in sick or doesn’t show, or there’s a shortage, guess who will suddenly have to fill in the gaps? You.

It’s REALLY hard to place a parent who needs SO much care, but time is on your side if you can do it earlier. My mom has finally adjusted…if she’d gone in later it would have been rather a disaster for many reasons. Now she’s getting lots of attention and help…I don’t have to worry about skipped caregiver shifts.

So sorry you’re going through this. Tell yourself repeatedly that you’re doing your best to pick the least lousy option out of lousy options to best care for your mom and not lose your mind at the same time. Tell yourself again when the mom storm clouds roll your way. Wishing you the best of luck in this difficult situation…

A well written POA will do this, yes. If it isn't good enough you will be forced into emergency guardianship. Your mother will likely enter a medication needs program in MC which hopefully will keep her well enough sedated to still remain awake and able to cooperate and participate. I am so sorry you are going through this. We have recently seen a caregiver get a possibly dire diagnosis for his own health, and forced to deal with care for his father. Don't wait until need becomes that critical.

Place her now. If you've got POA and a dementia diagnosis you can put her in memory care even if she doesn't want to.

As for the sundowning, there's really not all that much you can do about it except wait it out. If she gets too ornery or the histrionics get to be overwhelming have her doctor prescribe some anti-anxiety meds that you can give her without her even knowing.
Some liquid Ativan in a drink at around 3:30 will work wonders.

At some point you will have to place her. I'd say do it now while she still may have a chance to acclimate to a new environment.

As moms POA, you can have her placed in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility w/o her consent. You don't need a letter deeming her incompetent, just a doctors diagnosis of one of the dementias is all that's required.

The afternoon and early evening histrionics is known as Sundowning. Google it for tips. Call her doctor for Ativan or a similar medication to calm her down during these stressful hours every day.

I had my mother living in Memory Care Assisted Living as her dual POA and made all decisions for her, both medical and financial. She was very well cared for by "her girls" as she called them, and things worked out well.

To finance her stay in Memory Care, you can sell her home as her financial POA as well, but check with an Elder Care attorney to find out the specifics of that, and whether you'd need a doctors letter deeming her incompetent.

Best of luck to you.