From your experience, doe the POA have the right to delegate tasks to famly members as well as bills? My brother who is POA states he can. His leadership style is very authoritive and he often delegates tasks without speaking to the individual first instead and asking if they are ok or comfortable with the task. I asked him not to do this as it is disrespectful.
He is threatening getting authorities involved against other siblings for possible lack to follow through with tasks or what he considers neglect.
The home equity loan against the home is not fully in effect due to him stating "the bank is losing docuements ,every slow" etc. He is demanded loans with family members to help pay for home care for her. To protect myself, I told him I need a document in writing, with certain conditions and one approved by my attorney before doing an unofficial home loan. In my experience, unofficial home loans with family members is not the smartest thing to do.
Has anyone else been in this situation and if so, any advice.
Honestly, there is so much infighting between siblings as hard as it will be to do this, making my mother ward of the state might be the better option.
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He's a jerk.
You have no obligation to do ANY tasks for your mother.
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It's not a fun job, so let him have it. Don't get involved any more than you must.
As for nursing homes, they aren't awful. They are where our LOs can be taken are of by professionals according to their needs. Home isn't always the best place for that.
Good luck!
No he can NOT force anyone to do anything. Period. Let him threaten all he wants to.
As POA it is HIS responsibility to make sure things get done and bills are taken care of. That is all on him not any of you or your siblings.
So let him bark his orders at you all he wants but remind him that all of this is now HIS responsibility not yours and if he can't handle it, then he may want to give up being your moms POA.
There is a lot online about the powers and duties of a POA which is a fiduciary duty under the law. You should advise your brother to see an elder law attorney and tell him he clearly doesn't understand his duties and obligations under the law and needs an education. You can also tell him that he can, as POA, hire a fiduciary to help him sort out bill payments. Your parent's funds stand to pay their bills. When there is no longer funds to do this the fiduciary will have to file for financial aid and help for the parent. But the job is all his. And he's welcome to it. It's an onerous and difficult task, made more so by his serious lack of knowledge.
I am also interested on how he will get authorities to do his bidding. He has to pay them as well
My sibling tried this with me after I was the only one doing everything for my mom while he did nothing. He started telling me how he wanted things done because he had power…..he was POA.
I told him that I was done & he could do everything himself from then on. He was so angry & spiteful that I did that he blocked myself & my sons from seeing my mom for almost 4 years until she passed.
WATCH OUT FOR CONTROLLING SIBLINGS!
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