How to get out of living with an often angry and personality disordered elderly parent?

Has anyone tried to live with an elderly parent where there has been a history of verbal and emotional abuse from way back and it never quite resolved? Like generational types of conflict that gets repeated by the elderly parent almost unconsciously?

I am disabled and single and the worst mistake of my life so far has been moving into a home with my elderly parent where I get to be the daughter living in a basement area underneath her nice home. The archetype of that is enough to make me feel depressed. It is a nice home and my living area is nice, but conflict breaks out on a routine basis and she talks to me like I everything I do agitates her or like I am an inferior child. Doesn't matter what it is. It was always like this, but it's worse as she is now 83.

I have bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, anxiety, PTSD, C-PTSD, chronic migraine, and now Gastroparesis and other digestive issues for which I am supposed to manage my stress and just keep some weight on and some food down.

Yesterday she started a lot of drama with me because I sounded agitated for a change over something small. She goes to a family and friends support group for those who have a bipolar family member and uses things said in the group against me in order to win an argument. I finally called up the group leader to let them know that I didn't appreciate hearing the stigmatizing statements in group being hurled at me outside of their group.

I do not have enough income to just run out and get an apartment as they are beyond expensive these days. I do work part time from home but it involves book inventory I sell online. So lots of stuff requiring an extra room.

I have put myself on a housing list but that could be another two years. I feel terrible, but my own mental and physical health is not doing well. She is the source of a lot of trauma for me as a child and I am constantly feeling triggered in spite of getting special therapy, etc.

I am at her beck and call for things she can do herself a lot of the time. I have no other family around to help out, but I cannot live there anymore. It is literally killing me. I can barely eat due to the gastroparesis and I'm worried about myself now. She has money and a nice home and can hire a care giver if needed. She has health issues, but still mostly sharp and active.

I am now trying to find some tiny apartment I can afford and give up my book business and maybe get a different part time job. Even when I would visit her, it was never long before we would argue. I have been going to DBT therapy and it has been helping my distress levels, but yesterday I was caught off guard and she started shrieking at me and berating me.

I don't know how the rest of you live with this sort of thing because I know some of you do. I just want to know if anyone has successfully gotten away from a borderline/narcissist elderly mother later in her life or at least been able to set firm boundaries. It's harder when disabled. This situation was not supposed to be exactly like this, but when she moved out closer to me, there were not a lot of other options when Covid started. I imagined I would have an entirely separate living area with a private entrance.

I left a place where I was paying decent rent to be tormented living with her. I contacted a social worker today for help navigating 55+ housing options, etc.. It was a very bad decision and she knows it, too, to move in together. Things will be fine, or barely fine, and then a traumatic blowout happens.

I am sitting in a hotel because I can't handle the toxic energy around her anymore. Wondering what others in my situation did. I told her in a text that I need a lot of space while I look for other housing and if she needs things done, write them done. I'm done with the endless discussion of what needs to be done at home. That's all her life is, is obsessing about her house and using my mental health dx as her only social outlet.

Thank you.