Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
B
Broncos1fan Asked September 2023

What's the best placement for my 56 yr old mother who has early onset dementia and has ran out of money for her assisted living?

My mother has depleted her funds and now I have to figure out an arrangement that can take care of her 24 hrs. In my efforts to get her SSI I learned that since she missed a hearing in 2009 she can only be approved for disability. I dont want her to go into a nursing home but I also dont have the time to take care of her with my job. I just want her to be safe but I dont know where to go from here. Any help/advice is appreciated.

mstrbill Sep 2023
Agree with sp196902. She needs to become a ward of the State. You will not be able to afford to quit your job and take care of her 24/7. Please don't consider that, it will cause financial ruin to you. You need to get help from a state social worker, the SW will know the route to take to keep mom safe. It very possibly will be a nursing home, but trust me, not all nursing homes are bad, and your mother will be kept safe. As someone else said, memory care may be the best option, but memory care facilities are usually private pay. You need to get a state social worker to take control, it is possible in your state that a memory care facility will take state Medicaid patients.

JoAnn29 Sep 2023
SSI, do you mean Social Security or Supplemental income?

I would file for Medicaid to care for her in a Long-term care facility. If Mom is under the income and assets cap it should be pretty cut and dry. I would sit down with a Medicaid caseworker. One problem you have is Mom is under 65.

Not sure what the problem is from 9 yrs ago? Was Mom disabled in some way back then? Because if by SSI you mean Social Security she couldn't have gotten that, it would be Social Security disability she would have gotten. If it was Disability she was going for 9 yrs ago, you need to find a Lawyer who does SSD claims. He cannot ask for money at this point. He gets paid by SS from the retro money you Mom will receive. He may be able to get SSD now.

If Mom gets SSD now, if she can get Medicaid, I don't think she is allow the Supplemental too. Two government monies.
MACinCT Sep 2023
SSI also will not be enough to even pay for AL. She needs Medicaid and SNF care

ADVERTISEMENT


funkygrandma59 Sep 2023
She will more than likely do best in a memory care facility, as early onset Alzheimer's can go on for 20+ years, and I know that you're not equipped to care for her that long.
A man from my caregivers support group just lost his wife this past July and she had early onset Alzheimer's and she was in year 21 of having it. He had cared for her at home except for the last 7 1/2 years that she was in a memory care facility.
She also went to an adult daycare center 5 days a week and 8 hours a day before being placed.
It's a tough long road that you and your young mother are on. I would apply for Medicaid for her and find the best memory care in your area that accepts Medicaid.
I wish you both well.

sp196902 Sep 2023
She might have to become a ward of the state to get help since she has no money. I can't believe that because she missed a hearing in 2009 that now over 10 years later they won't give her SSI. Have you asked a lawyer about this?

Please don't move your mother into your home or quit your job to take care of her. I know it sounds harsh but destroying your life and income potential to delay the inevitability of putting mom in a facility is not worth it.

Dementia sucks but it's even worse when someone gets it as young as your mother. There is a movie about that with Julianne Moore called Still Alice.

anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Best placement? Home
sp196902 Sep 2023
I agree a nursing home is the best place for her mother. Unfortunately it is just a sad reality.
AlvaDeer Sep 2023
I am afraid that a nursing home will be your option on government assistance, and having run out of private funds your Mom now requires placement with help of the government assistance, whatever kind she can get. I would caution family to save their own money for their own aging care needs, as this case proves how quickly said money will run out.

I am so sorry. This is tragically young for this to happen and it is incredibly sad. I wish you all the best of luck.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter