My father stopped driving a few months ago. He got cellulitis in his lower right leg. He’s been struggling with edema in that lower leg. At that time he started using a walker or cane (depends on his mood). He decided on his own to stop driving and gave me the keys to hold.
He just called this morning telling me he’s ready to drive again. We’ve gotten the edema under better control. I think it’s feeling better to him and now he maybe feels more confident to drive.
I told him I didn’t think it’s a good idea. Especially as I’d posted on here earlier today about him calling me a lot and people have commented that he may be having some short term memory loss.
He became pretty demanding and angry. He told me he misses his freedom to go to the store when he wants and misses his daily trip down the road to 7-11.
Getting someone’s DL taken away here is very difficult. I went through this with my FIL but he was not in any mental and physical capacity whatsoever to drive.
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Sometimes people get stuck in very black & white thinking eg if I can't drive, 'I'll be stuck at home all day, everyday' or 'I'll be dependant on family'. Or the ususal one 'I'll lose my independance!'
They may need to know about alternatives & try them out.
Take a taxi, or uber. Senior local area transport, if available.
While not as spontaneous as your own car, being able to book a ride IS still being independant.
It’s the adult toddler equivalent to real toddler
“It’s mine “. 😡
If he has a key fob, take out the battery. If you have to, disappear the car. Be the adult and don’t let a demented sick old man call the shots. Yes, it’s difficult but it is your responsibility.
You and he would be better off if he’d go to assisted living. They’ll have a car and driver to take him places, or maybe he’d make friends to go out with. He’s bored at home and you’re getting overwhelmed. Sooner rather than later, and good luck.
Not sure where they are at...
Set up an UBER account (like I have ever used UBER :/ ) VAN ACCESS.. if they have something like that in your area.
Retired fireman, my brother told me to pull mom's keys.. end of story.
My friend is 95 and feels she is not ready to give up driving.. I told her my brother's story... The old one is going to get the blame, even if they were not the ones who caused the accident.... Brother has been to too many of these accidents to see exactly what goes on.. Old folks are polite...oops, maybe it is my fault.
I'd "lose" the keys if it were my father. If he gets another set made, disable the car. Supply him with the Uber app and go from there. While there's nothing you can do technically, there's plenty you CAN do to prevent him from driving and killing innocent people, God forbid.
Of course it's never easy to deal with these sticky situations as they arise, but it's easier to deal with them now than it would be later, after a terrible wreck.
This is so confusing and concerning to me.
The Dr expressed no real concern at all. Maybe because my father knows the city he’s in and date and likes to joke around with the Dr?
Guess it’s time for a new Dr.
I had noticed that my father had been forgetting where items are, forgetting words sometimes, and forgetting things like what time I told him I’d be stopping by. But I forget things like that sometimes and thought it was a normal part of aging.
Don’t let your dad be the next impaired driver to do so. He and you would have your hands full defending against charges of vehicular homicide. The law won’t care that he just recovered from an illness and decided he was ready to drive again.