As some know as I've posted before my mom has been on a roller coaster of health issues this year. We are now towards the end of it as hospice has been called in and mom has declined significantly over the past month.For the past week she has been bedbound on oxygen and given morphine. She doesn't open her eyes anymore but will still eat when the aides feed her. She doesn't speak to me but I know she knows when I am there and can hear me. I've said how much I love her, thanked her for being a good mom, and told her I will be ok (eventually). I've told her that all our relatives who have passed are waiting for her and that it is ok to go. It's tearing me apart to see her so defeated and frail....I am praying for God to take her but it has been 7 days now. I'm exhausted. I know there is no telling when people will pass, her hospice nurse does not think it will be long....but 7+ days to me is excruciating. Sorry there isn't much of a question here just more of a cathartic prattle.
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Try not to wear yourself thin.
Take a day off or a few hours here and there if you can. Also your mom may be holding on and not passing over to her people on the other side because you are there with her all the time.
Take a little time away. Go for a drive or for a coffee.
God bless you and your mother. Soon she will be beyond all pain and suffering.
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Wishing peace to both of you.
So try best you can to do other things including getting out of the house to do things you enjoy, even if it's just to take a walk to enjoy the beautiful fall weather.
Your mom may not want you to be near when she takes her final breath and that's ok, as everyone should be able to die on their own terms.
The fact that your mom is still eating means she's not quite ready to die yet, so don't rush the process. The Good Lord will take her when it's her time and not before.
My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and when I knew that he was finally in his dying process, hospice told me that he would be dead in 3 days, but it took him 41 days with no food and over 25 days with no water before he finally did die. And yes that too was exhausting, but I did try to keep myself busy and even get out occasionally even if it was just to go to the grocery store.
Praying for God's peace and comfort to be with you in the days, weeks and months ahead.
I recommend watching this video now, "The First Thing To Do When Someone Dies" by Dr. Sarah Kerr, Center for Sacred Deathcare.
I desperately wish I had known of this video before I sat vigil when my mom was unconscious for almost three days before she passed. This video has brought me so much peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mG0ZAym0w
Mottling of the feet, hands legs...
A change in breathing.
As difficult as it is to hear the change in breathing is not painful.
What happens is there is a build up of secretions and because the person usually does not swallow there is a "gurgling" sound. Kinda like a gargle with a thick liquid.
Check YouTube and look for Hospice Nurse Julie.
She gives a lot of good information.
((hugs))
the hospice nurse was not my normal nurse and I just was not prepared for that….
Thank you fir the explanation.. I truly didn’t know..