My mother lives in a senior living and she started to steal anything she can get her hands on. Her fridge is packed with fruits and muffins that she does not eat. Also I find in her room items that don’t belong to her.
My stepmother kept taking food from the dining room, butter, cream cheese, jelly, napkins and more, she had over 200 of these little containers in her refrigerator.
We would empty it and she would do it again.
She also started dumpster diving and bringing the stuff back to her room. Along with rocks, shells and sticks.
We had to move her from AL to MC.
Your mother is beyond senior living, independent living or assisted living. Start looking now, don't hesitate, she will acclimate easier if you do.
Your mother is way beyond independent living now and needs the structure of memory care AL.
When you move mom to memory care AL, make SURE the residents doors LOCK from the inside. This is not to lock them in, but to lock other residents out. This is the only thing that prevents "shopping" from other's rooms and acquiring things that do not belong to them. It also prevents other residents from sleeping in your mom's bed or from Harry showing up for a snuggle at 2am. No joke. It is NOT "against the law" for residents to have rooms that lock, so don't buy into any bs about that. My mother's life was peaceful in MC precisely bc she was able to lock her door and keep others OUT.
What is IF? My mom was the opposite. She kept giving her things away. I had to go looking around the memory care for her belongings so I didn't have to go buy new stuff.
In memory loss lingo, it is called "shopping". Bring items to the management office for a lost and found. If she is not in memory care and still in IL, then read the contract because sometimes it is considered a violation which may lead to eviction. Bestb to be proactive here and start looking at MC. Most units no longer have kitchenetts or refrigerators.
Your Mom has “happy hands”. It’s super common. My mom had all sorts of hair scrunchies, barrettes. Etc. Did not use them, but were stashed in her apt, & I found them when moving her into NH. Lady down the hall took books and magazines. Another put flatware and China into the storage seat of her walker at mealtime. This was in independent Living too. It’s all super common behavior as they have dementia setting in. Sometimes they outright take stuff, other times other residents leave stuff behind.
The issue will likely be IF & when other residents have issues with what she is doing and complain. & complain loudly. Then admissions will have to do something and the suggestion will be that mom needs to move into a higher level of care. They will push to have a needs assessment done and it will show she’s now beyond the capability required for where she lives now. The flip side of this is that they are always a having things stolen from them, which is more they have hidden them and cannot remember where…. and it cannot possibly be their fault, it’s someone came into their apt and specifically took it.
Please give some thought as to your moms finances if she has to move from Independent or Assisted living apt to more expensive MC or NH.
Thank you. Everything you said exactly was going on with my mother. I had to sneak into her Independent lIving apartment and clean out her fridge. I took out about 200 lbs of food. I also found two walkers and other items that she brought in that did not belong to her. Her walker chair is also loaded with tea bags, sugar packets, plastic spoons, etc
I would discuss with admins at once. See what they can offer in terms of more safety. You don't mention if Mom is in Nursing Home or in ALF. She may need more care and monitoring, a higher level of care. I agree with other responders here on checking, if this is new behavior, with the MD; need clearance especially on ruling out the UTI. I also agree that this isn't "stealing" as there is no intent here other than to collect and put away things for herself.
When a person has any of the dementias I don't think you can call them taking things that don't belong to them "stealing" as their brains are broken and they don't realize what they are doing, or that these things don't belong to them. It's very common with demented folks to take from others what doesn't belong to them and also to hoard things. You may want to talk to to your mothers doctor to see if they would recommend any kind of medication to help with these issues.
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We would empty it and she would do it again.
She also started dumpster diving and bringing the stuff back to her room. Along with rocks, shells and sticks.
We had to move her from AL to MC.
Your mother is beyond senior living, independent living or assisted living. Start looking now, don't hesitate, she will acclimate easier if you do.
When you move mom to memory care AL, make SURE the residents doors LOCK from the inside. This is not to lock them in, but to lock other residents out. This is the only thing that prevents "shopping" from other's rooms and acquiring things that do not belong to them. It also prevents other residents from sleeping in your mom's bed or from Harry showing up for a snuggle at 2am. No joke. It is NOT "against the law" for residents to have rooms that lock, so don't buy into any bs about that. My mother's life was peaceful in MC precisely bc she was able to lock her door and keep others OUT.
Best of luck to you.
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Bestb to be proactive here and start looking at MC. Most units no longer have kitchenetts or refrigerators.
The issue will likely be IF & when other residents have issues with what she is doing and complain. & complain loudly. Then admissions will have to do something and the suggestion will be that mom needs to move into a higher level of care. They will push to have a needs assessment done and it will show she’s now beyond the capability required for where she lives now. The flip side of this is that they are always a having things stolen from them, which is more they have hidden them and cannot remember where…. and it cannot possibly be their fault, it’s someone came into their apt and specifically took it.
Please give some thought as to your moms finances if she has to move from Independent or Assisted living apt to more expensive MC or NH.
See what they can offer in terms of more safety. You don't mention if Mom is in Nursing Home or in ALF. She may need more care and monitoring, a higher level of care.
I agree with other responders here on checking, if this is new behavior, with the MD; need clearance especially on ruling out the UTI. I also agree that this isn't "stealing" as there is no intent here other than to collect and put away things for herself.
Yes, contact her doctor if this is new behavior.
Sometimes a UTI will cause behavioral symptoms; it could signal a progression of her dementia and the need for a higher level of care.
It's very common with demented folks to take from others what doesn't belong to them and also to hoard things.
You may want to talk to to your mothers doctor to see if they would recommend any kind of medication to help with these issues.