How do I handle my spouse in the advanced stages of dementia when she insists on me taking her home when she is at home?

I have found with my wife, it is not a physical place it is a mental place. It is back where she knows what's going on.
It can be very difficult to face this with them. We must remember their brain does not work like ours.

Taking her for drives and back home might work. My mom would wait for me at assisted living to get her and take her home, which was most likely her childhood home. I'd drive her into the countryside or to the mountains and back to assisted living. That worked for years. If your spouse is not able to handle going for outings, maybe take her around in the house and back to her room. Trying to convince her that she is home will not work. It's exhausting, I know, but keep trying to divert the conversation or telling her what time you will be taking her home, after lunch, tomorrow, whatever will satisfy for the moment.

Wanting to go home, for a dementia patient, is most often him expressing a desire for comfort and familiarity, of how things were when she was young and living with not a care in the world. She can BE at home and ask to GO home, which frequently happens. She's not looking for a brick and mortar building as much as a place in time she's lost, sadly. She's looking for comfort.

The worst thing you can do is to tell her she IS home because she won't be comforted by that statement and may actually get more agitated instead. Hug her and tell her you love her very much and hold her hand, kiss her cheek. Let her know you'll always be there for her as a familiar loved one. Then offer her a snack or to walk around the grounds with her. Divert her, in other words.

Best of luck to you navigating a tough situation

Is she on anti-anxiety meds? It might be worth seeing if they give her some peace.

I love all the suggestions so far; do know this is very very common and a question we have seen before on AC. You cannot know, in the case of dementia, what "old home" she is imagining. The one from childhood? The one from early marriage? If you have photo albums and scrapbooks, sit with her and look through them. She may suddenly say "There's HOME! Why don't we go back there". And again, she may not. All of this just comes out of a mind so different to yours it is not understandable. As the late Oliver Sacks, who studied the aging brain with such fascination, said: "They have a whole world; it just isn't OUR world." I sure wish you the best. Meanwhile deflect with "I think we are going tomorrow" when "We ARE home" doesn't work.

Do you want to try a repatative answer that may have a short term calming effect? Answer her that you are working on it and good things take time..

if it is possible...a short ride and then returning home can relax the anxiety.

Also (along with these other suggestions) listen to Teepa Snow on YouTube. She can divert conversations to things like “what do you miss about one?”

Be careful about wandering. She may slip out in the dead of night to find her "home". In my MIL's case we installed a latch high on the front door out of her reach.

I wrote this poem when she was wandering:

Is this my home, I’m not so sure.
The rooms look strange, do I live here?

I’ll walk tonight to my childhood farm,
It’s just beyond the door, what’s the harm?

I’m down the street, a block away,
No moon tonight and I’ve lost my way.

I have no coat and I’m very cold.
I live around here, I think I’m told.

Alzheimer's is a dread disease.
Which way home, tell me please.

We are still in our home of 30 years. I have tried the walking around the yard. Usually she understands.

Sometimes I take her to the basement and show her familiar items, this can work.

Thanks for all your ideas, I would like to think I'll get a handle on this, maybe in time.