I was never a server but my Mom and Aunt were. They live on their tips. There is no minimum wage. In my State they make $5.26 an hour. I as a customer would not hold it against a server if an old man bugged her and it held up my order. But there are customers that would. Experienced servers should know how to handle this kind of customer. "Mr. Jones, I would love to talk but I have to wait on these people. See you next time ur in".
If your Dad has Dementia, you are not going to get him to understand that he can't hold up staff from doing their jobs. You may have to stop taking him out. If this a place u go to often, maybe talk to the owner/manager and tell them that its OK if the staff tell him, sorry busy, can't talk. Their job is to wait on customers and get them in and out. The suggestion to go at less busier times is a good one. I go to breakfast with a group of woman and we go about 10. We stay a couple of hours or more but no one is waiting for a table and we tip well.
When it's time to get up and go home, put your arm through his and walk towards the door. If he balks you gently tell him that talking to the staff causes everyone's meals to be delayed and that means everyone in the restaurant will be mad at you, Dad.
I have to preemptively tell my own 94-year old Mother that she and I will discuss her order in advance and she's not to ask the server a thousand inane questions. She decides what she eats before the server gets there and I make the order for her. She'll ask the server if the fish is fresh. Would the server ever say no? Or, "Is it good?" This is an opinion. She also tends to talk with her face away from the server and at a lower volume so that the server can't even hear her. So, I do the driving at the restaurant. Period.
My father is pretty embarrassing at restaurants. He will sometimes ask about ethnicity . Its pretty embarrassing when he asks if someone is Spanish , Polish etc. He also under tips
Tipping has absolutely nothing to do with this problem. I worked in many restaurants for summer jobs and during college and never had a patron waltz into our ***BUSY*** work areas. It's certainly not "cute" that he's being a nuisance. It's not up to the workers to tell your father to get out of their way - that's your job.
Learn to add urgency to your voice, something like "Dad, my parking is about to expire and we really must get going" or "Dad, I feel a headache coming on and I need to get going" or "Dad, I need to pick up something before the store closes and we need to get going" and put your hand on his back and guide him to the door. But if you can't coax him out the door, then stop taking him to restaurants.
He ate out at least once a day, and pretty much always went to the same restaurant. He'd go at lunch and stay for a couple of hours. Bless those servers and bussers who patiently listened to his war stories over and over.
Once I was with him and I gently said "dad, when you hold these waitresses up. chatting with them, you really need to leave a large tip. They can't turn over a table if you are parked in one for hours."
IDK if he did up his tips, but whenever DH or I were with him, we'd leave a large tip.
I hope it worked out for them...everyone was so kind to this lonely man. With or without the possibility of a big tip.
Find a “favorite” restaurant. One that has slow times in the middle of the afternoon. Tip a lot. I, too, have been a server in all kinds of restaurants and I agree servers are not baby- or parent-sitters. But the right server during a slow time of day might even welcome the attention, and certainly will welcome the extra money.
If that's possible to become regulars at a place, go at a slower time, and let the waitstaff know that you'll pay extra if they socialize with the elder, then more power to them.
Stop taking him out then. Or remind him right before you go into the restaurant that the employees aren't there to socialize with him. That they can get in trouble with their supervisor if they do, so please stop trying to engage them.
If he still does it, tell them it's okay to walk away and ignore him. If he gets indignant and causes a scene, stop taking him to restaurants. Get take out or order delivery.
Kind of cute. Let him do his own thing. Servers are very used to this; it is on them to handle this. This reminds me of that commercial where the fellow tries to teach the young how "not to become their parents." Particularly the one where they all enter the elevator and the young man begins to visit with everyone, press buttons for everyone, hold the door for everyone.
It's not cute. It's annoying. The servers, etc can't just walk away. I mean they can but most people wouldn't and especially in a service industry job. OP should probably stop taking dad out to restaurants if he continues this behavior.
My loser FIL does this and people would be trapped for what seemed like an eternity and some did just turn around and walk away and still FIL had no clue that what he was doing was annoying and clueless.
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If your Dad has Dementia, you are not going to get him to understand that he can't hold up staff from doing their jobs. You may have to stop taking him out. If this a place u go to often, maybe talk to the owner/manager and tell them that its OK if the staff tell him, sorry busy, can't talk. Their job is to wait on customers and get them in and out. The suggestion to go at less busier times is a good one. I go to breakfast with a group of woman and we go about 10. We stay a couple of hours or more but no one is waiting for a table and we tip well.
I have to preemptively tell my own 94-year old Mother that she and I will discuss her order in advance and she's not to ask the server a thousand inane questions. She decides what she eats before the server gets there and I make the order for her. She'll ask the server if the fish is fresh. Would the server ever say no? Or, "Is it good?" This is an opinion. She also tends to talk with her face away from the server and at a lower volume so that the server can't even hear her. So, I do the driving at the restaurant. Period.
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Learn to add urgency to your voice, something like "Dad, my parking is about to expire and we really must get going" or "Dad, I feel a headache coming on and I need to get going" or "Dad, I need to pick up something before the store closes and we need to get going" and put your hand on his back and guide him to the door. But if you can't coax him out the door, then stop taking him to restaurants.
He ate out at least once a day, and pretty much always went to the same restaurant. He'd go at lunch and stay for a couple of hours. Bless those servers and bussers who patiently listened to his war stories over and over.
Once I was with him and I gently said "dad, when you hold these waitresses up. chatting with them, you really need to leave a large tip. They can't turn over a table if you are parked in one for hours."
IDK if he did up his tips, but whenever DH or I were with him, we'd leave a large tip.
I hope it worked out for them...everyone was so kind to this lonely man. With or without the possibility of a big tip.
If that's possible to become regulars at a place, go at a slower time, and let the waitstaff know that you'll pay extra if they socialize with the elder, then more power to them.
If he still does it, tell them it's okay to walk away and ignore him. If he gets indignant and causes a scene, stop taking him to restaurants. Get take out or order delivery.
Let him do his own thing.
Servers are very used to this; it is on them to handle this.
This reminds me of that commercial where the fellow tries to teach the young how "not to become their parents." Particularly the one where they all enter the elevator and the young man begins to visit with everyone, press buttons for everyone, hold the door for everyone.
My loser FIL does this and people would be trapped for what seemed like an eternity and some did just turn around and walk away and still FIL had no clue that what he was doing was annoying and clueless.