How do we find minimal care for mom?

I advertised on Next Door. I had quite a few people respond that lived close by. I was very up front about what was needed/expected. I ended up hiring someone. I text her what I need and when, she texts me how long it takes her and anything else she notices that I msy not know about. I then Venmo her. It has worked beautifully

It sounds like her vision and/or mobility are not so good, if it’s too difficult for her to get the mail or take out the trash. She sounds a lot like my mom. My brother and I are retired and didn’t mind taking her to doctor appointments. Her HOA took care of yard work and exterior maintenance. Her grandson took the trash out and put the containers back each week. She can also still drive during the daytime. But then her cleaning person had an accident and had to quit, and she had a hard time finding an affordable replacement. She had a couple of falls and trips to hospital and rehab. The maintenance assessments were getting higher while her income wasn’t. She eventually decided it was too much and started looking into a senior apartment situation. We got her house sold and moved her in. She seems to enjoy it and has made new friends. The community has assisted living and skilled nursing should she need it in the future.

All this to say maybe it’s time to look into a change?

I used to work with Care.com. I listed previous clients, I paid to have care.com do a back ground check. I would sit for people with Alzheimer’s, cook a light lunch, light cleaning, and sometimes do overnights. I am not a nurse. Just interview a few to screen until you find someone you like. I charged $20 an hr.

Do you know anyone in her area? Maybe they can point you to agencies near her that you can hire an aide to help take your mom to appointments, etc. These local people also might know of someone that does little jobs like these. Maybe there's even a trusted teenager in the neighborhood that could take out the trash and pick up her mail for a reasonable fee.

Eye shots every 4 weeks sounds intense. How about those other doctor appointments? I cut waaaay back on my mom's appointments. It was like every doctor wanted to see her again in 3 months! For absolutely no reason. She's stable and does blood work every 3 months so why are we going - just to say yup, everything's the same? Such a waste of time! So if she has some like that, cut back to less often to relieve some of the burden.

Is your mom still competent? Just doesn't drive?

Best of luck!

Have you tried calling home care agencies? It seems like what you want is a personal assistant or nursing assistant who can take mom to appointments, remind her of her medications and pick up her mail.

Does she have a long-time, trusted neighbor who'd be willing to make a few extra bucks in cash to help her out? I'd start out with this possibility.

Does she go to a church? If so, does this church have a Care Ministry? You should call the church and ask (however, volunteers are not as reliable or accountable as paid help -- been there, done that).

Otherwise, you can set up a companion aid from an agency but it is really hard to get anyone to work less than 30 hrs a week (consistent hours on consistent days, every week). This was my experience with an agency.

This is why I suggest looking for a neighbor to pay to help.

I had a similar situation and I managed to keep my mom in her home until 98, until last year. I found a home care agency that would send over someone to help 2 hours a day in the morning to get her dressed and do errands, do shopping or put her shopping away (I would order groceries through instacart). If I needed extra help like for a doctor appointments they would do that. Many agencies have 3-hour minimums in her area in Illinois but you can call around to any of the caregiving agencies in her area.
(And I also found a doctor service that would come to her house and perform things like blood test etc. I would dial in using an Amazon Echo Show, and participate in those visits. )
We actually found a couple women that we really liked and a few are still working for us privately apart from the agency helping us out while my mother is in hospice in assisted living..
Also there is care.com where you can post for assistance. You will be paying a little less ($20-25 hour) because the agencies charge quite a lot now (30-35). We got a small stipand through her long-term care insurance... but it can add up.
My understanding is they are all vetted and background checked but I haven't had any experience with them other than posting a job that I wound up not needing help for.
Finally, If she only needs help off and on And you are familiar with her area I would try posting on your Facebook page and asking if any of your friends or their kids or high school friends in the area would be interested in helping out. A lot of high school kids would welcome an extra $20 an hour and be relatively flexible.
Best of luck.... I kept my mom home a long time with a caregiver 2-3 hours a day and a setup of cameras inside the home once she became more prone to falls.
That being said I wound up having to move out here for her final years because it was too hard to manage remotely, even when she was assisted living. Just food for thought as / if she becomes more frail.

I would call your local Senior Services and Shepherd Center as both have volunteers that will take folks to their doctors appointments and do small odd jobs around the house.

I agree with Barb about looking into home care agencies. Also call Council on Aging in her area to see what they recommend.

In my area Council on Aging provides rides to and from doctor appointments on a shuttle bus or they may be able to connect you with someone.

I see that you are in Washington. The website is dshs.wa.gov
Phone no. 360-725-2466

Wishing you all the best in continuing to care for your mom.

Care.com or Visiting Angels