Can I get my mom committed or call APS for through the roof anxiety?

You aren’t helping her. You are encouraging her by coddling her. She needs to be on medicine. If she doesn’t take her medicine you can’t help her. This very well could be the beginning of dementia.

Karsten, my mom was depressed and anxious most of her life. She wouldn't take AD drugs and only the barest minimum of anti-anxiety meds

She had a stroke. Went to acute rehab. Psychiatrist at rehab said "the post-stroke protocol here is to prescribe anti-depressant meds. As Health Proxy, do you agree, as your mother is currently in no shape to make that decision?"

I said "yes, please."

The next time your mother temporarily incapacitated, make sure they give her the Seroquel. The life you save will be your own.

Do you strictly limit your time with her?

Do you leave when she starts in an OCD loop?

Have you taken a look at the "Out of the FOG" website?

Karsten, start with a mild tablet. Tell mom you and she will split one in order to get through whatever it is you are trying to get done with her. See if it helps you.

That’s how I managed with my elders when their anxiety ramped up.

My mom did not have dementia and she thought she was fine, not anxiety provoking etc. but she would trigger my anxiety as well as my sisters. She flat refused to take anything as a maintenance Med but would take something for “an event” that she knew would be stressful. I would say, do you want 1/2 or a whole tablet? The message was clear. To go forward, she needed something to calm her. If she wanted me to take her or be with her she had to calm down. She at one point would say a whole one. Small victory but it made life more manageable.

Also, please look into talk therapy for yourself. I’ve been going twice a week for awhile now and it has really helped me. My therapist takes Medicare and I have a great supplement so I go for basically free and talk my head off.

My family really notices a difference in me.

Just unpacking all the stress helps tremendously. I am also taking an AD and that has also helped.

I encourage you to get help for yourself regardless of what you do about your mom.

And by the way, a talk therapist would probably help your mom as well.

thanks all. A while back her primary doctor prescribed some prozac but my mom reads all those warnings that come with every med and gets scared and doesnt take it

One time after she broke her pelvis and was inpatient rehab a psychiatric nurse examined her. She asked me if she had been on anything I said prozac. The nurse sort of snorted in derision and said prozac for my mom was like giving someone with a brain tumor a tylenol. While she as a nurse could not prescribe anything, she wrote down a couple to give to her doctor which I did

The doctor I think was a bit miffed having meds being suggested to her by a nurse but also said these were heavy duty drugs and should come from a psychiatrist, not a primary physician. Finally she said, Karsten do you think she will take them? Her OCD causes her to read every word of warnings and disclaimers and if she is afraid to take her blood pressure meds she will never take this and she was right

My brother said at least when I go to visit my mom, she should take a valium just to chill out. I said she wont do it. My brother said slip one in her coffee. I said that is illegal. He said murder is illegal too . He was here from out of town for a week and had a hard time lasting the week wi th her, he was going to go home early as she was driving him crazy and he doesnt know how I can do it without doing something. I assured him I would never be violent, and he said everyone has their limits with such a person

Karsten, you keep telling us what's wrong with your mom, and how she won't change.

Until you change your response to her, the situation won't change.

Stop listening to her. Stop explaining things to her.

Visit if you want to but leave when she starts looping.

Karsten, you are allowed to tell your mom that she needs to find someone else to do her bill-paying if doing that is damaging to you.

Please thinking about quitting.

OCD is very common with folks with dementia, and there are medications that often help with that, so I would first talk to her doctor about putting her on something to see if that helps.
And because she does have dementia, she really shouldn't be living alone anymore. It's time for you and your brothers to look into the appropriate facility for mom to be placed in, before it's you that ends up being hospitalized or dead from all the stress.

Does your mother have a geriatric psychiatrist on her health care team?

My mom has one that comes into her MC. It’s a great help.

Is mom diagnosed with OCD and/or anxiety? If not, get her in with a doc ASAP and get that done and get her on a low dose of something to calm her the heck down. This asking you the same things over and over has got to stop. I'm getting anxious just thinking about it LOL.

A Geriatric Psychiatrist can medicate her and you can block her during the hours you refuse to communicate. Please see if you can locate the old paperback called, "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty."