What can be done for my loved one who never sleeps?

I should’ve read your profile first. Sorry about that.

tou have a lot in your plate.

I used to shadow mom every night.. DH finally realized or confronted about not sleeping. He helped me realize she needed more help than I could give. I was going to put us both in harms way if I continued.
Tweak out her routine so she doesn’t sleep so much in the day.. and if she has a medical bed, lower it all the way down. Maybe push it against the wall and maybe a chair or something on the other side.
Adult day care? Get her in a daily social activity. Maybe..?
If you have the time, take her to the grocery store, grab a cart and both if you push it around. Take her to the library.
My neighbor is 95. We always meet at our other neighbor’s house… wine time. It makes everyone happy..
it’s so wonderful that we do this. It is social hour almost every night fir them. I will mosey over a night or two.. like it’s so far….
she doesn’t look 95, nor does she act like she’s 95. But she did listen to her doctor and gave up her drivers license.

Ask for a referral to a sleep specialist. These doctors specialize in sleep and should be able to help get your loved onto a medication regimen that will help him/her get to sleep and stay asleep. Also, make sure loved one stays awake during the day. If he/she is getting their sleep needs met during the day, they will not sleep at night.

It also might be worth it to employ somebody to be a sitter during the night. Hoping the sitter will be temporary until you can get your loved one to sleep through the night.

Sorry, I can’t help, but my Mother is 84 and same situation. It makes me nervous watching her. I’m so tired and she’s alert and awake. No medications she takes helps either.

At least she's getting good exercise

The dementia behavior you describe is known as rummaging. Going through her desk repeatedly, and also dresser drawers which can lead to packing and unpacking suitcases. It's an OCD type behavior common as dementia advances. Has the doctor prescribed calming meds?

The fact that nothing works to keep mom asleep, and that dh is dealing with melanoma, and you with your own health matters, think about placing mom in Memory Care Assisted Living now.

Taking care of mom at home has to work for everyone in the household and clearly it isn't.

Best of luck to you

There is a human limitation to what you can take. I agree with funkygrandma, that it is time now to consider placement. Hopefully she will be able to take that desk with her, somewhere where there will be staff day and night to watch over her. The fact that falls will happen, and bones will break is often the beginning of the end at this point, is the sad truth. Things lead one thing to another.

Not everything can be fixed, as you are witness to. I am, again, so very sorry, but this is the reality.

Does she then sleep all day as I find it hard to believe that a 93 year old woman never sleeps? Everyone has to sleep sometime.
From your profile you say that you're caring for your husband who has some heath issues and you yourself have some issues as well, and sleep is so very important for you both when trying to heal or just function.
So it looks like it's time to have your mother placed in the appropriate facility where she will be taken care of 24/7 and you and hubby can get the much needed sleep you both need. I mean really...are you really willing to give up your health and well being for your mother? You know she wouldn't want that if she were in her right mind.
Other than yourself, your husband should be your number one priority right now and if no one is getting sleep, something has to give and someone has to go, and guess who that is? That's right....your mother.
I wish you well in finding the best facility for her where you can get back to just being her daughter and advocate and not her burned out, sleep deprived walking zombie of a caregiver.

She needs to be in a facility where the 24/7 professional caregivers can keep tabs on her. This may be sundowning behavior, and it may be fine for her to roam the halls under watchful eyes. Falls are still a fact of life at her age, but at least you'll be keeping yourself healthy by getting enough sleep.

She's 93 and lived a full life. You haven't. Time to put yourself first.