Is it ever better so you can bring your loved one home from memory care?

Hi, are you OK OP? What did you decide? Trust yourself. Whatever you decide is right. There are no right/wrong answers here. Every case is unique. And decisions are reversible.

I hope your day, and DH’s, is relaxing.

Never.

It will only make things worse. Sounds like he's doing well. Why risk messing that up?

Do you mean home to live or home to visit? Either one is a bad idea and really not possible at this time. It's great you have a caregiver going there to walk with him!

There are moments that I doubt my dad belongs in memory care because he sounds like his old self. But then he says something bizarre and I’m reminded his mind is sick. He is bound to a wheel chair and needs assistance for most tasks. He is in the right place, but those hopeful moments are tough.

YES!!

Unfortunately, he's never going to be able to come home, so please don't get that hopeful vibe stuck in your head. Once he can't dress himself, drink or eat, someone is going to have to help him with all those things, and the ability won't come back. He is now where he has 24/7 care and a caregiver to walk him. Don't upset the applecart.

As doctor said to my LO, the body is in good shape, but there's nothing to fix the brain. Doctor also said that the body could go on 10 years or more, but he left out the part that the brain eventually cannot make the body do its bidding. Then other things start to fail such as internal organs, muscles, and finally everything. I guess doctor thought he'd mentioned enough daunting and depressing things in that visit.

Others have mentioned to be careful about the car rides. Sometimes they try to get out without any warning. Make sure he's strapped in with the seat belt and use the child-lock for car windows and doors.

Dementia is forever. Sorry, OP.

No sadly things will only continue to get worse. The best thing you can do for him now is keep him where he's at, and let him adjust(and you too)to his/your new normal.
And just enjoy whatever time you may have left with him, as dementia is a horrible disease that has no happy ending.

Dementia is a progressive disease of the brain. The body can be perfectly healthy, and often is, which makes the condition even harder to accept. You expect a sick person to be in a wheelchair or hooked up to tubes, not walking half a mile a day. But then he can't eat or dress himself which is the brain damage advancing, which hasn't yet affected his body.

My mother was walking a lot, schmoozing it up with her friends in Assisted Living, and fully incontinent and introducing me as her mother at the same time. By the time she segued into Memory Care Assisted Living, she was wheelchair bound and insisting I was hiding her mother in the closet at the MC.

Enjoy dh as he is w/o expecting him to get better. That's the best thing you can probably do.

Best of luck to you

No. His needs will only increase. Does he have a POLST and DNR? Focus on his quality of life i.e. keeping him comfortable where he is.

No, never better. My stepmother walks too, doesn't mean a thing, she cannot do anything else for herself.

Accept and go forward don't try a fabricate a happy ending, there will be none.

Sending support your way.

Dementia only gets worse not better. Enjoy the things he can do now, but realize taking him home probably is not an option unless you can afford 24/7 caregivers.

He basically needs help to do everything.

Eventually he probably won't be able to walk and driving in a car should be done with caution as you never know if he is going to flip out one day and grab the steering wheel (it's happened to people).

It's a horrible disease that steals everything from your loved one and those who love them.