My mother has dementia. She lives in a small care home and her room is situated such that she hears noise from the kitchen, common room and front entrance. That has given her a sense of contentment. Clattering dishes and food smells must be her mother preparing a meal. Male voices are her brothers and their friends. A closing door might be her father coming in from the barn. “Home” sounds and commotion.
Someone once used the word "coddling" to me concerning my parent. That was the wrong thing to say to me, AND it couldn't have been further from the truth. As Joanne29 stated below, it's been consistency and structure from myself and my sibs. To "coddle" means to pacify which does nothing but put off anything brewing under the surface for both my sibs and I, as well as our parent. Even if a person is suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's, the more structure and the consistency provided, minimizes the mental littering that happens in those instances/cases. Again though, as I've tried to point out in previous postings, these situational dynamics are not a "one size fits all" sort of thing. But being consistent with the same sort of answers over and over again helps with their brain pathways in terms mental digestion. It doesn't mean they are absorbing everything you're trying to get across, but repetition helps. And whatever you do, don't argue - that does nothing (as you may already realize) for their state of mind, nor does it do anything for yours. The mere act of feeling supported brings on a sense of security. I repeat the phrase "I can understand that." ...and "Whaaaat????! No way!!" in response to a complaint. I listen - until the manipulation starts and then I cut it short on the phone and in person. I "inuendo" reward to good behavior versus the bad. In our case, my parent associates safety with food indulgence - so bringing homemade goodies and the giving of our time have been working in our favor so far. But as with any aging person, that could change in an instant.
I think its consistancy and structure. They do well knowing they get up at a certain time, meals at certain times, bed at certain times. They need quite time. Being with people all day can make them anxious. They are people with likes and dislikes and needed to be treated as individuals.
Well, again, listening, and in your case, EXPLAINING. Telling your client what you are doing step by step, explaining, being patient with your client, asking your client if they can hear you well, see you well, and understand you. Direct eye contact and sitting close. Asking questions about your clients expectations and wishes regarding you and the services you are providing. Telling you client you will do everything and anything you can within the limits of your job to make them comfortable. Telling your client to feel free to ask you questions. And so on. Just eye contact and an open attitude.
If you are providing aging support you are going to run into a lot of folks suffering from at least some loss of cognition. So study up on the aging brain.
I just saw a class where the person was teaching people how to teach elders technology and she had her students put on devices that lowered their ability to hear, and to see. Understand that you will need to repeat things; practice patience and let the elders teach it to you.
Sorry your question is quite vague, but I will take the plunge. It will help if you answer to provide us with more information, for instance with telling us what sort of relationship are you speaking of?
Most relationships involving trust or a lack of it are dependent on length of time that the two persons are interacting. Trust evolves over TIME. We learn to trust people/build trust with those who listen to us, who don't let us down, who are reliable, who are prompt, who have time for us, who give us good guidance over time, who are kind to us, who are knowledgeable in their field of practice.
It takes time to build trust in any relationship whether you are talking about parent/ child, doctor/patient, caregiver/client, husband/wife, teacher/pupil, dog trainer/dog.
Trust doesn't happen instantly. It is BUILT. Try to think of it as a work in progress. And once trust is VIOLATED, it takes a long time to rebuild it.
Reliability. Showing up on time and doing all the tasks assigned in an appropriate manner.
Oh, and dressing professionally and identifying yourself is another big one, I had nurses that showed up at our door looking like a street person who made no attempt to introduce themselves until I asked "Who are you and what do you want?".
Everywhere my daughter has worked she wears scrubs. One place she worked the RNs wore, lets say, Navy blue; LPNs, burgundy; aides, green. There were signs telling you this. There ID should be where it can be seen.
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My mother has dementia. She lives in a small care home and her room is situated such that she hears noise from the kitchen, common room and front entrance. That has given her a sense of contentment. Clattering dishes and food smells must be her mother preparing a meal. Male voices are her brothers and their friends. A closing door might be her father coming in from the barn. “Home” sounds and commotion.
Even if a person is suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's, the more structure and the consistency provided, minimizes the mental littering that happens in those instances/cases.
Again though, as I've tried to point out in previous postings, these situational dynamics are not a "one size fits all" sort of thing. But being consistent with the same sort of answers over and over again helps with their brain pathways in terms mental digestion. It doesn't mean they are absorbing everything you're trying to get across, but repetition helps. And whatever you do, don't argue - that does nothing (as you may already realize) for their state of mind, nor does it do anything for yours.
The mere act of feeling supported brings on a sense of security. I repeat the phrase "I can understand that." ...and "Whaaaat????! No way!!" in response to a complaint. I listen - until the manipulation starts and then I cut it short on the phone and in person. I "inuendo" reward to good behavior versus the bad.
In our case, my parent associates safety with food indulgence - so bringing homemade goodies and the giving of our time have been working in our favor so far. But as with any aging person, that could change in an instant.
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If you are providing aging support you are going to run into a lot of folks suffering from at least some loss of cognition. So study up on the aging brain.
I just saw a class where the person was teaching people how to teach elders technology and she had her students put on devices that lowered their ability to hear, and to see.
Understand that you will need to repeat things; practice patience and let the elders teach it to you.
It will help if you answer to provide us with more information, for instance with telling us what sort of relationship are you speaking of?
Most relationships involving trust or a lack of it are dependent on length of time that the two persons are interacting.
Trust evolves over TIME.
We learn to trust people/build trust with those who listen to us, who don't let us down, who are reliable, who are prompt, who have time for us, who give us good guidance over time, who are kind to us, who are knowledgeable in their field of practice.
It takes time to build trust in any relationship whether you are talking about parent/ child, doctor/patient, caregiver/client, husband/wife, teacher/pupil, dog trainer/dog.
Trust doesn't happen instantly. It is BUILT.
Try to think of it as a work in progress.
And once trust is VIOLATED, it takes a long time to rebuild it.
Oh, and dressing professionally and identifying yourself is another big one, I had nurses that showed up at our door looking like a street person who made no attempt to introduce themselves until I asked "Who are you and what do you want?".