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Leroyzz Asked October 2023

How do I help husband understand that hospice is his best choice?

Geaton777 Mar 10, 2024
My MIL went into hospice when she had the original covid (May 2020). She was so sick we called in her out-of-state sons to say goodbye to her. Then, after a few weeks she recovered completely.

It would be really helpful if you could give us more information about your husband's illness/injury and if he has dementia.

Is someone his Medical Power of Attorney? Does he have a Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will) or a POLST?

waytomisery Mar 10, 2024
You don’t state what the issue is or why you think hospice is the best choice.

But I will share that my FIL did not want hospice . The name itself scared him . He had dementia , COPD, CHF , cachexia and was in a lot of pain from multiple spontaneous compression fractures in his neck and spine due to severe osteoporosis . He did not want to go to the hospital . He finally agreed to hospice for the pain management aspect when his pain got severe. He also had Covid at the time . The coughing was causing more back pain . Was only about 48 hours later that he died. They put Covid on his death certificate as the cause of death . However, he had been declining already , Covid just sped up the inevitable since his heart and lungs were so compromised .

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AlvaDeer Mar 8, 2024
YOU DON'T. It isn't your business. This is a PERSONAL decision in a way that no other is. This is a decision everyone must make for him/herself no matter how hopeless the situation is.

Never encourage another to face end of life and stop fighting for life if he/she doesn't want to. I say this as a fan of hospice and as someone who would end my life through a final exit of MAiD (medical assistance in dying) laws. I am a FAN of the grim reaper. That doesn't mean your husband is, nor should be.

lT IS YOUR HUSBAND'S decision alone.

NancyLU Mar 8, 2024
My husband who has emphysema and told his illness was severe (EOL) was in Hospice care for a year and graduated out in November 2023.
I was encouraged to get a podiatry opinion and treatment about a toe nail infection he had by the Hospice nurse who came once a week and doctor who saw him every three months, so Hospice care in his case was not just EOL care. He improved while in Hospice care.

Midkid58 Oct 2023
My MIL threw a high stakes FIT when the Dr talked to her about Hospice. Actually, it's really Palliaitve Care--altho she does not see any drs and stopped all her medications. It's all in the verbiage used.

She used to get really mad/embarassed that the van the Hospice nurse drives has "In Home Hospice" printed in huge letters on the sides.

Well---sorry, not sorry.

And FWIW, Hospice can last for a really, really long time. we were told MIL had 2-3 weeks and we're staring down the barrel of a 2nd YEAR. (well, not until Jan., but it's not what we'd all thought.)

The only way the kids could have kept her home with the appropriate care was through Hospice. I'm not involved, so I don't know that much, but I know that w/o the meds she takes (only anti anxiety ones) she could not be cared for at home, her constant panic attacks make life miserable.
JoAnn29 Mar 9, 2024
I would be upset too. No way should they be advertising Hospice on their van. IMO that is private, intimate.
AlvaDeer Oct 2023
Hospice is end of life care. If a person doesn't recognize that his life is ending, and isn't willing to give up treatment hoping for a cure, then hospice is not the answer for that person. As an RN I think it is wrong to try to convince people that they are dying and need to give up hope for cute. That is up to the person involved.

Grandma1954 Oct 2023
Hospice is a GREAT way to get extra help.
It is a great way to ensure that a person is getting all the supplies and equipment that is needed in order for the caregivers to safely care for a person.
Hospice not only supports the person that has a life limiting illness but Hospice also supports the family.

His doctors can explain it to him but tell him that he can "try it out" if he does not like it you can discontinue Hospice care. Tell him to give it a month. That gives the Hospice staff, him and you a bit of time to get used to everything.

JoAnn29 Oct 2023
Your husband needs to be ready to die. On Hospice some meds will be removed. He cannot go to the doctor or hospital. He wants to want this.

Fawnby Oct 2023
Let his medical team talk to him and do the explaining.

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