Caring for elderly parents.

...I recently joined this group to mainly observe, and capture ideas on how to deal with various aspects of my elderly parents. Something I am interested in is obtaining information on getting some type of help / care on a daily, or few days per week basis, as well as some other things that I will mention below.

My mother has Lupus, and my dad is in the midst middle-staged/ moderate Alzheimer's. They live alone (and do NOT want to leave their house and go into any assisted living situation), and due to various factors, it becomes harder each day for my mother to be able to take care of my father (not to mention herself) completely. She does not get much sleep as my father wakes up very early at times, then she awakens, or is already awake, anticipating his movement throughout the house. They have gone through various caregivers (more like errand runners...help around the house, trips to the store, etc.), but after 3 or so different individuals that have come and gone over the past 8 months, they are back at square zero.

[Before I go further, I must add that my mother can be difficult to deal with when it comes to people helping. She has exact methods and ways that she wants things to be done, right down to where the milk is put in the fridge. This makes things difficult for her, and the person doing the errand or chore.]

The last person they had didn't last more than a few visits because of this. I have advised her to hang on and let them get used to the situation around the house before letting them go, but she finds reasons, and out they go.

I live 90+ minutes away and am currently on a schedule where I and my partner/girlfriend go to them once every 2 weeks for a day to run errands for them. Over the past few weeks my mom has been hinting that she needs more help. The specifics are hard to lay out here because she types, or says what she is looking for, but her sentences sometimes blend together and, in the end, it is a very confusing jumble of wants and needs that spans various topics. To top it off in the next sentence, or the next day's conversation she will change it all, and say, "we don't need to worry about that now", etc... even though sometime in the future it gets brought up again. From work I can get to their place in about 50 minutes so there is an option for me to add a bit more time for them in an afternoon visit every so often.
What they really need is someone skilled in taking care of elderly people. The catch is that she has dealt with (briefly) the corporate/ healthcare money grab side of things. Basically, some care company that won't do anything until you sign your life away and put a bunch of money out there before they walk into the house. This scene has become very disheartening to them (and me). The people who have come and gone are people who she has found in some local forum. I suppose you get what you pay for, but she wants to keep looking for some individual/ retired nurse type person to help…and maybe, just maybe the right person will come along.

As noted above, she has hinted at getting more help from me. While I am doing what I can, I don't want to get into as stressed-out scene where she is calling on me every other day or every day for some non-emergency or some other needy reason. I've read many posts from others who have been dragged down by letting an elderly parent(s) do this them, and I don't want to be in that situation. Along with the hints about helping more, she has started to go the guilt trip route..."all we have done for people", "if we have to go to a assisted living home for 100k per year that will be your inheritance, etc."

What do I do, where do I go to find the low key, but reliable help they need? I have heard people having luck with people who have graduated with Associates degrees in Human Services, where they have been taught certain things that they practice in the real world, but how do I find these people?