Hygiene issues go with the territory when Alzheimer's/dementia is at play. Your wife needs help now, either from you, an aide you hire to come into your home, or from the staff at a Memory Care Assisted Living facility. She needs help toileting as well, as Grandma mentioned, since many elders w dementia are not capable of properly cleaning themselves after a BM.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet to learn about dementia. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
There may be other hygiene problems you have not noticed yet. Is she properly and thoroughly cleaning herself after toileting? Is she brushing her teeth? and adding to those..is she properly taking her medications (If any and if she still does that on her own) You should start monitoring her in the bathroom and while taking or sorting medications. If she is resistant to your help in the bathroom the first few time make an excuse, "I need tome tissue" or "I need some dental floss" or "I have to wash my hands" You might have to have someone come in to do showers and hair if she is real resistant. But try getting a shower chair or bench. One with a back for more support. She may be afraid of slipping or falling. She might actually need help remembering what to do first, then the next steps. If you think about it showering is something we do automatically but there are a LOT of steps. The head and torso are "vulnerable" areas and many do not like being hit with water in that area. A hand help shower wand might help, the water stream can be controlled and many come with bars that allow the head to be placed much lower so the water is not hitting you in the face.
Have you tried just taking her in the shower and washing her up yourself? And of course make sure there is a slip proof mat down in the shower, along with grab bars and a shower chair, as all those things will help your wife feel more safe and secure while getting the shower. I had to help my late husband in and out of the shower and wash him down myself to make sure he was getting good and clean. And when he became bedridden I used the extra large body wipes to clean his body and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps to wash his hair. Both of those items can be found on Amazon or Walmart.com. You can also hire an aide to come bathe her a couple times a week if your budget allows, as they do a great job and won't take no for an answer. It's tough, I know, and sadly it will get only tougher. But you're doing a great job. And if and when the times comes, don't be afraid to place her in a memory care facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to just being her husband and advocate. I wish you well on this difficult journey you're on with your dear wife.
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I suggest you read this 33 page booklet to learn about dementia. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Best of luck.
Is she properly and thoroughly cleaning herself after toileting?
Is she brushing her teeth?
and adding to those..is she properly taking her medications (If any and if she still does that on her own)
You should start monitoring her in the bathroom and while taking or sorting medications.
If she is resistant to your help in the bathroom the first few time make an excuse, "I need tome tissue" or "I need some dental floss" or "I have to wash my hands"
You might have to have someone come in to do showers and hair if she is real resistant.
But try getting a shower chair or bench. One with a back for more support. She may be afraid of slipping or falling.
She might actually need help remembering what to do first, then the next steps. If you think about it showering is something we do automatically but there are a LOT of steps.
The head and torso are "vulnerable" areas and many do not like being hit with water in that area. A hand help shower wand might help, the water stream can be controlled and many come with bars that allow the head to be placed much lower so the water is not hitting you in the face.
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I had to help my late husband in and out of the shower and wash him down myself to make sure he was getting good and clean.
And when he became bedridden I used the extra large body wipes to clean his body and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps to wash his hair. Both of those items can be found on Amazon or Walmart.com.
You can also hire an aide to come bathe her a couple times a week if your budget allows, as they do a great job and won't take no for an answer.
It's tough, I know, and sadly it will get only tougher. But you're doing a great job.
And if and when the times comes, don't be afraid to place her in a memory care facility where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to just being her husband and advocate.
I wish you well on this difficult journey you're on with your dear wife.