I’m visiting my mom who’s in memory care and earlier a woman was yelling and screaming in the hallway outside my mother’s room.

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Lov2teach Asked October 2023

I’m visiting my mom who’s in memory care and earlier a woman was yelling and screaming in the hallway outside my mother’s room.

I think she’s been moved to her room, which must be close to my mom’s room because I can still hear her screaming. I live out of state and haven’t been here in 3 weeks. I’ve never heard this person before, so I’m assuming she’s a new resident. I asked my mother if she hears her and she said she does. This has been going on for hours today. How do I approach the director about the situation or should I? I’m sure there are lots of issues with dementia patients that are a challenge. I’m just worried about my mom listening to this for hours at a time. She’s bedridden and can’t get away from the screaming and yelling.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Care Decisions Long-distance Caregiving Memory Care

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score 0 · Answer 1

If she is bedridden, any way possible you could mover her closer to you,
yiu know:: location location location. Get her closer to you so you can have more hands on and eyes on her…

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score 3 · Answer 2

@lealonnie...I did not mean that medications should not be given. What I meant was that sedating someone to the point that they are "knocked out" is not right. Managing anxiety is the appropriate thing to do for all involved.
I have mentioned many times that finding the appropriate drug and dosage can take time so I am not one to say that medicating someone should not be done.
If I gave that impression in my response that was not my intention

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😆. A resident has solved this issue. When she gets upset because something is not going her way or she's not being waited on to her liking a call to the appropriate person or DON is in order. Guess what? Her methods have worked. She has taken full advantage of Resident's Rights Month

(1)

score 6 · Answer 3

My MIL in the NH had a guy who called ‘help, help, help’ for hours on end, just down the corridor. Clearly it wasn’t actually about getting any help that he needed. I raised it with the admin, to see if drugs would help to calm him. They said that the family wouldn’t agree, their position was that he just needed more attention. They didn’t hear it, because he stopped before they got to his room. And it was impossible (and pointless) to provide one-on-one company in his room when he had no real needs. Very difficult, and there almost always seems to be one.

I’ve heard the same thing about barking dogs. After driving the neighbors mad for hours, they stop when they hear the owner’s car turn into the driveway, so the owner thinks the complaints are totally exaggerated.

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score 3 · Answer 4

I would definitely contact admin. If it was my mil though, I would avoid even mentioning it to her since it then calls her attention and focus on it. If mil doesn't say anything we don't mention it, if and when mil mentions it, we would assure we would let the staff know but also encourage her to mention it herself.

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score 3 · Answer 5

My Husband moaned.
Sometimes quietly, sometimes loud and sometimes VERY loud.
Sometimes it bothered me a little, sometimes it bothered me a LOT.
Some people yell, some moan, some say "help me", some "I want to go home", some are quiet, some cry.
Sure it can be stopped but at what cost. Sedating people so that they are "quiet" is not right.
Some can be redirected.
Have you thought to say HI to this woman?
It is possible that this is her way of communicating with you and your mom.

Possibly put on some quiet music for you mom that would be a filter for the yelling. Or the TV. (although with some of the TV during the day I might prefer yelling..or I would join in)

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"Sedating people so that they are "quiet" is not right." I disagree 100% if the elder is crying or yelling loudly or screaming HELP ME bc they are obviously greatly distressed. They need help in the way of calming meds and not to be just left there to scream their voices hoarse! In people's rush to badmouth meds, they seem to forget the demented elder is suffering and in need of relaxation! It's not just about the neighbors who have to listen to the distress, but about addressing the distress itself. I thank God for Ativan which took my mother from a hysterical mess to a much calmer person who was able to stop searching for her dead family members for hours on end.

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score 3 · Answer 6

Yes, this is, I am afraid, a part of memory care work for residents and staff.
I would STILL speak with the admin on Monday about how dreadfully disturbing this is for you loved one AND for you. That you UNDERSTAND, BUT...................
That may help.
Eventually, don't you know, as much a disturbance as this is it cannot go on. Family and doctors will be contacts and the attempt at some drug cocktail that can keep this poor one from being so frightened and disturbed without turning her to stone will be tried. As well as you are upset you can imagine how distraught all patients, visiting families and staff are. These things happen. They are dreadfully heartbreakingly disturbing. And they pass.

Again, do call the admin. That will help push this forward.

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score 2 · Answer 7

Headphones

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I’m visiting my mom who’s in memory care and earlier a woman was yelling and screaming in the hallway outside my mother’s room.

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