First year for holidays with husband in memory care.

I wouldn't be surprised if his place holds a family Thanksgiving in the days before the real day. Go to that and enjoy your time together. Spend the official day with him or family and friends, or volunteer that day if you have nowhere else to go.

Bringing him home is for you, not him, and it won't go well, I'm sorry to say.

If he is in Memory care, I would not try and bring him home. The facility probably has a dinner, you can join him there. Its usually on another day. Then enjoy TG with family, hopefully someone else will do the cooking.

I am sure this first thanksgiving apart is filled with many emotions for you.

Be comforted knowing that he is in a safe place and well cared for.

Go and visit him where he is. Whether others will be there having a celebration with you at his place or if it is just the two of you, it’s going to be okay.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Ask his facility what their plans are for Thanksgiving. They may welcome you to join in, and you should do that and show your happiness at being with him.

Dementia patients live in the now. Don’t even bring up other Thanksgivings or family unless he does. Your job is to join him in his reality, not to impose yours on him.

Good luck.

Join him at his new home, don't bring him to your house. You can visit before or after your regular Thanksgiving event.

It is no longer about what you like or dislike, it is about what is best for him.

Sending support your way.

It would probably be best that you celebrate Thanksgiving at his facility and not your home. Most facilities have a private room you can use if need be.
And if you'd still like to have your family to your house on Thanksgiving you still can and then perhaps take some of the left overs to him the next day and celebrate with him since he won't know the difference.
It's has to be heartbreaking, but you must do what is best for your husband at this point as to not upset him.
Best wishes in making the right decision.

Will you be on your own for the day, or will you be tied up in a bigger family celebration? Particularly will you be hosting it? Will the facility have some sort of celebration so that LO knows that it’s the day and realises whether or not you are there?

There are options, depending on the answers. For example, if he won’t realise it’s the day, you could bring a plate the next day and tell him all about it – which might be better than him actually attending. If you are fairly free on the day, you could go to see him at some time (lunch or tea) but still take part in the family celebration. If you are on your own, taking a plate to the facility could be good. If you are hosting the family celebration, forget the whole idea!

Probably kindest for both of you to join him for a quiet PLEASANT “Thanksgiving Dinner” at his residence rather than bringing him to yours.

Taking him to a place where he used to live will potentially be a jolt no matter whether his adjustment to his new life was originally peaceful or difficult.

Before Covid, my LO’s residence welcomed and encouraged family to join their residents for dinner on special holidays. Have you checked to find out if anything like that is planned where he’s living now?

Hard for you, because you have your memories of him during other Thanksgivings at home, but probably less hard for him in the (now) familiar surroundings of the structured setting he’s in now.

If you can join him there, hope your day is peaceful and as pleasant as possible.

Eat at the His Place or bring him to a restaurant . Once you get him Home it will be very difficult to bring Him Back there . You could cook and Bring a Platter to the Dining room at His Facility . Meet some other residents and share a Pie .