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DesertRose7 Asked November 2023

Guilt and anger over mom in ALC with holidays coming.

I think I just need to hear that the way I feel is okay and normal. I had been giving care to my mom for the past several years, not my idea but it just happened-I have a problem saying “no”. Earlier this year she fell several times and is now in assisted living. I have finally been able to just begin to relax and de-stress, knowing she is in good care and I don’t have to provide it. I had toyed with the idea of bringing her to our house for Thanksgiving dinner with my family but she can’t get into my truck very well and transporting her would be a problem. My husband, who she has spurned ever since we were married 49 years ago, said don’t invite her. They are having festivities at the center and let her enjoy that. We need a family thanksgiving to ourselves. When he said that I was flooded with relief and knew this was the right thing to do. Now my mom has begun her usual manipulation and wondering what I am doing for the holidays. I feel angry from all of the times past when I made a wonderful holiday dinner only for her to say at the last minute that she didn’t feel like coming to my house and for me to bring her a plate at her house (and sit with her while she ate)!! I am also feeling guilty for not inviting her. You know, I have been on anti-anxiety meds since last year when her demands just became more than I could handle any more. My husband, son, and I actually moved to a different state from my parents back in 2001 to get away from their insistence that I follow what they want instead of what my husband wants. I could not take it being caught in the middle and I should not have ever been put in a position to choose between my husband and my parents. Of course, after my dad passed in 2011 I brought my mom to live next door to us so she would be near family. What a mistake. Anyway, I have decades of anger built up inside of me from this situation and still I’m compelled to feel obligated to include her in our family holiday, knowing she will make it unbearable. Any suggestions? Am I right or am I a monster?

DesertRose7 Nov 2023
Yesterday I attended the Thanksgiving celebration at my mom’s ALC. It was fun and tons of good food. My mom seemed to enjoy it. The staff had styled all of the ladies hair and everyone was in a festive mood. I was apprehensive to go but we had fun. I still have some mixed feelings and a little sadness that things are different now, but the ALC really put on a wonderful party for everyone. This is our new reality and it’s nice how the caregivers make a big deal over the holidays. Those people are true heros.
AlvaDeer Nov 2023
My own brother was in such a good and LOVING facility. I am so glad that you were able to celebrate and enjoy even as you adjust to a whole new thing. I am so glad this is progressing well for you. Just remember, tho it was tough for you giving the care, this is ALSO tough. YOU are experiencing a loss as well as is your Mom. This is a lovely update, DesertRose. So glad to see it.
BarbBrooklyn Nov 2023
I want to add that that your husband has my vote for sainthood for having put up with a MIL who "spurns" him for 49 years.
MeDolly Nov 2023
I agree he is a saint, mine would have been long gone if I chose my mother over him.

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AlvaDeer Nov 2023
There is absolutely no reason for either guilt or anger here.

I am THRILLED to hear that Mom has now moved to a facility where she can be cared for without ruining your lives.
So let's stick to that.
How about a little honesty: How about laying this holiday thing to rest once and for all? Such as:

"Mom I need to tell you that you won't be coming to our home for holidays. This is the request of my husband, who you consistently spurned throughout your relationship with us. I will be honoring his request because now it is time for MY HUSBAND to be my FIRST CONCERN. I hope you will have a lovely day with the festivities here, and I will see you the day after".

How about THAT? It's honest. It's gentle. It is the truth. And in all honesty it IS TIME FOR YOUR HUSBAND NOW.

Have a happy holiday. You didn't create your Mom's woes. You cannot fix them. And you have a right to a life now with your patient hubby. I am in HIS CORNER in this.
DesertRose7 Nov 2023
Thank you so much for your response. You know, I agree with all of it. Everything you said makes perfect sense. Thank you for helping me get on the right track. My family and especially my very patient husband are my priority. Thank you so much for the response.
MeDolly Nov 2023
You are going to drive yourself nuts with all this overthinking, all it does is create more stress for you.

Guilt is a self imposed emotion that will keep you stuck.

Your husband and your family are the priorities, certainly not your mother. She has lived her life on her own terms. Personally, I think that you are doing your husband a disservice, he should come first.

There will be plenty for her to do at the facility, let it be, enjoy Holiday, you are entitled to this breathe of fresh air.....finally.

Sending support your way!
DesertRose7 Nov 2023
Thank you for your response. It’s wonderful to have this group when I feel like I need to vent. Everything you said is so true and I do feel better about the situation after having read all of this support.
ZippyZee Nov 2023
Leave her in the AL where she belongs. There are absolutely no benefits to bringing her home for the holiday and having everyone's day ruined.
DesertRose7 Nov 2023
Thank you for your reply. I agree with leaving her at the AL. The “good daughter” part of me wants to have her share in our family celebrations but the practical adult in me knows this is not possible - or recommended. Thank you for your response. I appreciate it.
Fawnby Nov 2023
You and your family come first. Period. Mom is the one who needs to be doing the adjusting.

You've done all you can for mom, and like many on this board, you realize that you overdid it to your detriment and that of your family.

Mom needs to join in at her center and have a great Thanksgiving with the people at her new home. The umbilical cord was cut when you were born, and there's no need to keep reattaching it!

Good luck with Thanksgiving and with your own personal growth.
DesertRose7 Nov 2023
Thank you for your response. In my heart I know I have to put my family over mom and I will work on not letting guilt enter into the equation. Your response was very helpful.
BarbBrooklyn Nov 2023
Your mom is in a facility that is now "home". There will be activities and festivities on Thanksgiving there.

What we did when mom was in a NH was we planned a family party at the facility for the Saturday or Sunday before or after the holiday.

This gave mom the ability to see everyone, enjoy the grands and food (we brought in stuff we cooked) and she could go back to her room when she was tired.

My mom was not manipulative. But if someone I was "doing" for made comments to me about how I wasn't doing enough, I'd vore with my feet and stop helping. At all

Your family comes first. That goes without saying.

AnnReid Nov 2023
You are hereby declared MY HERO OF THE DAY!

Your anger is justified.
Your choice of spouse IS, WAS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE,
YOUR BUSINESS AND ONLY YOUR BUSINESS.

You have paid your dues 100x100 times over.

Your husband is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about your Thanksgiving, and you and he and your son are richly entitled to it.

You cannot SAFELY transport her and it is not in her best interests for her to leave her ALC.

Your mother can’t “manipulate”you unless you let her. If/when she makes the first negative comment or accusation, look at your watch jump up and say “Look at the TIME! IF I don’t leave RIGHT NOW I’ll be late for my (dentist appointment - meeting with the people at the library-picking up the dry cleaning- you get the idea)”. Give her a hug and kiss on the forehead and immediately LEAVE.

Don’t turn around or respond to her if she howls for you.

You have forgotten that sometimes the most important person for the caretaker IS THE CARETAKER h/h self, and it’s TIME to REMEMBER TO DO THAT.

Only if you want to and are comfortable doing so, take her a piece of pie some time over the weekend, and tell her to enjoy it whenever she eats it.

ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR COZY RELAXED Thanksgiving. YOU DESRVE IT!
DesertRose7 Nov 2023
Thank you for your response. Everyone has been so supportive of my issue and I truly appreciate all the wise words. I will enjoy and wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving with my family at home. And I will work hard at not letting my mom guilt me into feeling bad about it. Truth is, she would never have done for her parents all that I have done for her. She lived half way across the country from them and couldn’t bother. I will think about this whenever she puts a guilt trip on me. Thank you again for your response. I really appreciate it.
waytomisery Nov 2023
If Mom asks , you tell her she needs to be where she is because that’s where her caregivers are . That you don’t have a proper setup ( ex, bathroom ) in your home either for her needs . This is what we are going to tell my FIL .

Tell her you will bring her a plate the next day . Or you tell her you aren’t cooking this year, you are going to someone else’s house . Or tell her you are going away and won’t be home .

Enjoy your holiday with your husband .
Beatty Nov 2023
I second every option you listed.
BurntCaregiver Nov 2023
Here's a suggestion.

LEARN from all those years of your mother ruining holidays and making them unbearable.

Please don't be a martyr. Not only will that ruin your life, but it will ruin the lives of yourself and everyone you love who loves you in turn. Don't do that to your husband (Mazel Tov to you both on 49 years of marriage) and your family that you want to have a Thanksgiving with.

Now listen or should I say read carefully. Everyone the world over has lied to their parents about something or another at some point in their lives.

So here's what you do.

When your mother is hinting about what you're doing for the holiday, you tell her that you're going on vacation. Or that you're not cooking this year but going to someone else's house. She will be none the wiser if no one tells her different.

Do the same thing when it's Christmas and New Year's too if you celebrate those holidays.

You and your family (if you want to) can pick another day to be Thanksgiving or Christmas for your mother.

My mother hints and tries to guilt trip me about not making Christmas for her and the family. Then I remind her that I've been Jewish since 2003.
Just ignore the guilt-tripping and a little white lie to your mother about your holiday plans will hurt no one.
MargaretMcKen Nov 2023
'Jewish' is a good way to skip Christmas. 'Australian' is a good way to skip Thanksgiving. It just doesn't happen. It's late spring here which is not harvest time anyway, and our history is different. 'Harvest festival' in the UK (my mother's background) is simply a church festival, with different decorations on the altar. ‘New Year’ here is a hot weather evening party. My DH and I change the grandfather clock dial so we ‘celebrate’ New Year's Eve midnight early – around about 8pm!

From what I read here, in the USA the last months of the year and the family expectations are bizarrely stressful! Why do it to yourselves?
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