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anita14 Asked November 2023

Can POA brother lock me out of mom's house because he doesn’t want my dog visiting? Mom asks me to bring him as she enjoys my small dog.

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Debbiespain Nov 2023
Ahhhh sibling drama - the stuff that makes "are we there yet" fun!
Here's my .02;
You have to really think about what's a priority and what isn't when it comes to your mother. She doesn't need this. That said, if it's destroying your peace, IGNORE HIM. When it comes to my loved one, I ignore the minutia the rest of my family throws at me now and then. Sounds like your brother is power hungry. Don't make this your problem. Take the path of least resistance when it comes to this kind of petty jib jab.

lealonnie1 Nov 2023
A better question would be, if he "can't" lock you out as POA, what are your options? Call the police? What would they do? Nothing. Sue him? At what cost to you?

Warfare between siblings is drama that mom doesn't want to see or hear. Tell mom why you're not bringing the dog and to take it up with her son if she's upset. It's HER home and SHE gets to say who is welcome or unwelcome in it, not the POA.

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Fawnby Nov 2023
What's the reason brother doesn't want dog to visit? Sometimes there's a reason, such as dirt and dander that the dog brings in. A friend who had transplant surgery had to send her dogs to live somewhere else for three months of her recovery because the doctor didn't want her around the germs dogs would bring in on their feet, mouth, and coat.

Mom might ask you to bring the dog, but she may not know the issues a dog can cause.

AlvaDeer Nov 2023
Is the POA's home the same as Mom's home? That is, is he the caregiver and lives with Mom or Mom lives with him? If that's the case, is he allergic? Is he aware that Mom specifically asked if she can visit with your Dog?

I would say that you should visit your Mom without the dog and simply let her know that her other son, who has POA, would prefer that you don't bring the dog. Or ask brother to come in and explain to Mom why he would rather the dog doesn't visit.

In these things the BEST THING your mom can have is TWO SONS who get along, not who go to war over minimally important things, splitting her between them when she is in a weakened condition. That's the honest truth.

I love animals, and were I ill and bedridden then I would simply love to have an animal visit. That's me. And it may be your Mom as well, so hopefully you two fellows can work this out amicably. For your Mom's sake I certainly hope so.

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