I have a 90 year old mon and 97 year old dad, moved in with me 4 years ago, getting more demanding, more health issues.
If i find them the CHEAPEST one, it is $3,500 a month x 2 They would run out of money in a year and 6 months... THEN what happens? I can't pay that amount...I didn't even make that amount since I had to quit my job and take care of them full time...
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I, highly recommend, board and care homes. Fewer residents, better caregiver to resident ratio and way less money. Make sure they accept residents/patients through end of life with hospice, not all do.
Then go back to work to ensure your future and be their daughter and advocate.
Where I grew up, retirees often lived in small rental units behind a main house. They’d sell their bigger house to live on the money from the house sale and move into a one-bedroom efficiency. These small units provided income for the home owner and inexpensive living for the tenants. People didn’t live to be 100 then, making it necessary for someone to take care of them. They’d die around mid seventies or so. No hospice. It was off to the hospital and you never saw them again.
Those who have been able to buy and pay for a home are still better off than those who didn’t. Unfortunately we now have their overentitled adult children who don’t want to sell the family home to pay for parents’ care. Yikes! Their parents’ home was supposed to be their long-term care insurance. So there are many in their 70s and 80s taking care of nonagenarians and centenarians, and they don’t want to “put them in a home.”
Yikes again, but this ensures that this site will flourish for a long long time as those caregivers age 70s and 80s try to figure out what the bell happened to their own lives when they were just trying to do the “right thing.”
Normally, the rent for AL is not doubled for 2 people in one apartment. It's $3500 for the first resident, and less than half that for the second.
If the folks have too many health issues, AL may not accept them and Skilled Nursing care would be your only option. Private pay till funds are exhausted, then Medicaid kicks in along with most of their Social Security.
Speak to an elder care attorney about the details of qualifying for Medicaid, should the need arise. 18 months is quite a bit of time at 90 and 97.
I would run them out of money in AL and then apply for Medicaid, to go to a nursing home.
You should pay nothing.
Other options would be to consider faith-based facilities. My MIL is in one owned by Presbyterian Homes. She's in LTC on Medicaid.. Her invoice is a little over $2,800 a month, in a private room. She gets excellent care and is not Presbyterian (and it usually doesn't matter to these types of facilities since they see it as a mission, not a business).
I would definitely consult with a Medicaid Planner for your parents' home state so that you know exactly what can be expected.
For recommendations of facilities, join Nextdoor.com, which is a non-anonymous intranet of your actual neighbors and near communities.
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